


The Happiness I Seek

by hestherewithme



Category: Glee
Genre: Alternate Universe - Angels, Angels, Glee - Freeform, Guardian Angels, Klaine, M/M, klaine AU, klaine supernatural
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-02-25
Updated: 2018-04-11
Packaged: 2019-03-24 02:35:18
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 23
Words: 28,220
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/13801575
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/hestherewithme/pseuds/hestherewithme
Summary: A story of an angel who wanders Earth, his only purpose is to help humans.As an angel, his purpose and existence are complex, with certain powers but also with shortcomings.Such as the inability to physically feel anything.His discovery of Blaine Anderson threatens to challenge that.





	1. Chapter 1

He never understood why. Or how.

He just was like that. And he did what he had to do. All he knew was that he was never meant to question, never meant to doubt, just do as he was supposed to, and everything would be alright.

 _K._ That’s what they all called him. They said the lack of identity furthered the proof that his only focus should be to a higher purpose. He’d thought that he was special for a while, but was quickly reminded that it was a selfish thought.

They all had jobs. They all had work to do. For the humans, one of His other creations. Their job was to look out for them. Make sure they didn’t get into too much trouble, lead them where they were supposed to go, and sometimes care for them. Yet they never got any thanks for it.

There were some who would thank the upper management, but K was never thanked personally. He didn’t mind though, he loved his job. He had to, since he’d labored at it for a few centuries, and was probably going to for many, many, many more.

K’s job was simple. He had to lead those clueless creations to where they needed to be. Sometimes his assignments would make it on time, other times they would be so far off their intended positions K had to restrain himself from physically dragging them there himself.

He couldn’t explain how he knew where to lead these Humans, or how he even knew who to lead. After one person was in the right place, all he had to do was to move onto the next person.

It was simple enough: there were plans for Humans. 

Every action, every thought, every word spoken, every conversation, would, in turn, affect their lives. It was K’s duty to make sure that his human assignments were doing what they were supposed to. It usually ended up turning into something wonderful.

Many times he steered someone into a store where they bumped into another who would change their lives forever.

He would misplace shoes to make sure someone would miss a taxi that was going to smash into a speeding car in the next half hour.

Uncharged phones, lost socks, a pile of papers randomly falling, ‘ _wind_ ’ pulling umbrellas. K certainly loved being creative. Those things he was proud of doing.

But it wasn’t always that glorious.

People were not always meant to be happy.

There were instances where his kind would direct people into potential unhappiness, accidents and sometimes even death. The worst ones were the children. In the beginning, he found it unimaginable to deal with. 

K had never done a ‘ _death_ ’ himself.

He’d learned long ago how to suppress his guilt every time he lured a person into a situation he wished he hadn’t. He didn’t have time to feel sorry for them, their lives were short, rather inconsequential and easily manipulated.

They all thought they had so much power over their decisions or control over their lives. Oh, how wrong they were. But it wasn’t K’s job to roll his eyes at their naivety and unwarranted sense of self-righteousness.

No.

He knew what he was meant to do.

After all, angels were created for one purpose.

To obey without question.


	2. Chapter 2

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Rating throughout the fic is T. Happy reading! Also has an introduction of an original character (but there won’t be any klaine/oc)

“K…Would you like to join me today while I run my errands?”

“Why must you call them errands, E? It’s a job, one that you’ve had for a long time. You don’t run errands continuously since the creation of life.” K asserted. 

E gave him a fond chuckle. “You’re young. You’ll learn how to give respect for what was blessed to you. Meanwhile, I repeat, would you like to join me today?”

“And what about my own job?”

“It’ll work itself around where you are. Trust me.”

* * *

Angels didn’t fly.

Sure, they had wings, but they were honestly more for show than anything else. Flapping around in those things was just exhausting, and as much as K hated to admit it, he didn’t have the stamina.

‘ _Teleport_ ’ wasn’t the right word for it either. K racked his brain, scouring the vocabulary he’d acquired through years of going over countless books with E.

He had taught K everything he’d ever wanted to know, without complaint. E had never repressed his questioning spirit, and he never told anyone else about it either. Of course, there wasn’t much they could hide up there, but it was nice to think that nobody else knew.

 _Flitting_. That was it. They would move swiftly, not as though they were using the wind, but as if they were part of it. Oh, those humans didn’t know what they were missing. 

It was incredible.

* * *

“Where are we headed?” K asked, perched on the doorstep of a house that was an identical copy of the twenty neighboring ones surrounding it. He couldn’t hear any thoughts coming from inside the house, and K deduced that everyone was asleep.

“Inside,” E replied. “I have something to show you.”

He found himself and his old mentor inside a bedroom. Lying within it was a young boy, encompassed by medical equipment, all stationed around his bed. Ventilators, heart rate monitors, IVs, and one very sick child in the center of it all. K suddenly knew exactly what he was doing here.

“E, No. Please don’t…”

“It is not up to me, K. You know that.”

“He’s just a child.”

“Who isn’t meant to be on this earth anymore. We’re to do our jobs.”

“ _You_. You’re supposed to. Not me.”

“Did you think you’d always be doing the same thing forever? No, K. You’re here to learn, and I am here to do what I do best. To teach you.”

The boy opened his eyes and K could sense his immediate worry, but then everything was calm. He kept his gaze on E, not even noticing K was there, but K was accustomed to that. E talked to him, explaining who he was and why they were here. And that was it- K could feel it.

There was a body on the bed, once belonging to a child who wasn’t sick any longer.

K couldn’t take it anymore. He had to get out of there.

* * *

E found him, sitting on the edge of the roof of one of his favorite buildings in the city. The 777 tower. K loved the irony of where he did his work. Los Angeles. It was a city of angels, literally.

K wondered if He found this all hilarious.

“‘When man could endure life no longer, death came and set him free.’” E cited.

He had a habit of reciting quotes in what K deemed the most inappropriate of times. But as tradition between them would have it, he gave his aged mentor the satisfaction of listening to him.

“You ran away, K. You understand that you cannot keep doing that.” he sighed heavily, sitting next to K.

“I refuse to be responsible for the death of someone. Especially not a child.”

“But aren’t you? All those people whose lives you’ve altered in one way or another. You don’t find yourself liable?”

“No, I don’t. I don’t because ultimately we aren’t. It’s not us. We’re just soldiers. Who do our jobs,” K added defeatedly, knowing he’d contradicted himself.

“Exactly. We have tasks assigned to us. We cannot just ignore them, dear boy. ”

“But leading people to the afterlife, being there while their life wastes away to nothing. While their soul leaves their body eternally? I cannot handle that.”

E regarded him with old, tired eyes. “An angel who  _feels_  what he isn’t supposed to. Can’t say I haven’t heard it before. But it will pass, K. You won’t think in such a way forever.”


	3. Chapter 3

K did a pretty good job of avoiding other angels when he needed to. It wasn’t easy because they were everywhere. Going through the streets he could easily make them out, the ones walking around silently, their eyes fixated on the human they were meant to help.

He and his kind were always dressed in uniform-like dark suits, so they were easily identifiable.  Occasionally the other angels would acknowledge K with a polite nod, but most just kept to their work. As they were supposed to, of course.

He had never wanted E’s job. Or anyone else’s, for that matter. He didn’t think it worked that way, getting to choose his own fate.

He would have to face that one day.

But not today.

He stepped onto one of the carriages of the local metro train heading downtown, searching the crowd’s thoughts to find his current assignment.

That was another thing. Mind reading.

It wasn’t as though he actively did it, and it was relatively simple to block out too. But reading their thoughts was not like reading sentences within a book.

Along with each statement that ran through a person’s mind, K could feel the emotions attached with it. Anxiety, fear, elation, giddiness, selfishness and most often: grief.

Sometimes, K would try to read people as best as he could, simply because it made him feel a little closer to them. It was one of the things he envied about humans, that they didn’t need much effort to feel in such a way. K had to learn how.

He looked at the crowd of people standing in front of him, and it was like he’d opened a floodgate of thoughts.

_‘Did I lock the front door?’_

_‘Shit, I’m failing that exam today.’_

_‘Haven’t paid the gas bill. Tomorrow’s the final warning date. Gotta remember that.’_

_‘I’ll call him back today. Yeah… I’ll do that. God, he was so sweet last night.’_

_‘Will anyone even notice? What if I disappeared today?’_

There she was.

He walked up behind her, and comfortingly put his hands upon her shoulders. Immediately, he could perceive her sudden composure.

_‘No. I can’t do that. There’s Jamie- he would care. And mom. I can’t do that to her?’_

K then proceeded to go the extra mile and shoved a rather shy looking girl right towards his target.

“Whoa!”

“Oh! I’m so sorry!” the girl he’d shoved apologized immediately. “I must have lost my balance.”

The pretty stranger paused for a moment, a flicker of recognition crossed her face and she grinned. “Wait a minute…You’re in my Philosophy class, right? Do you go to USC?”

“Yeah,” K’s target said, looking dazedly at this rather lovely stranger.  

“You’re just amazing! The way you got into that argument with professor Drew? That took some guts.”

“Oh, uh- thanks,” K’s target not only smiled but blushed. A reaction to which K couldn’t help but smile as well.

“I’m Carol,” the girl said, extending her hand warmly.

“I’m Jane,”

* * *

After taking care of a few other people, he ended up in a local park, watching out for an unfortunate little five-year-old, whose mother apparently found flirting with single dads more appealing than her child’s safety.

Sometimes he didn’t understand humans at all.

Suddenly, the little girl tottered out of the sand pit and began making her way towards another part of the park.

K looked back to see if the mother noticed.

She hadn’t.

Groaning, K got up from his station on one of the park benches and followed the playful child.

Maddie? Marie? Macy?…It was definitely Macy.

Macy was now enraptured by a man sitting cross-legged on one of the ledges around a tree. There was a crowd surrounding the man, clapping along to some song he was playing.

As K approached him, his features becoming more clear, K was pretty sure he had unknowingly flitted back to heaven.

“Blaine! Blaine, please! Could you please do one by Katy, you know we love those…” a young lady squealed. Obviously, she knew this man.

_Blaine._

K didn’t even know why, but he felt like repeating that name for the rest of his life. Which would be…eternity.

The man, Blaine, started strumming his guitar and singing the lyrics of what was apparently a very popular song, from the way everyone was cheering.

He was glad he couldn’t be seen by any of these people because that gave him time to stare.

To unabashedly gaze upon what K was sure was the universe’s ultimate creation.

K asked himself where had he been the day this man was first envisioned because such a transcendent person could only have been created in the most beautiful part of heaven.

_‘Say my name like a scripture, keep my heart beating like a drum_

_Legendary lovers, we could be legendary’_

K snapped out of his thoughts nearly fell over backward, because Blaine was looking right at him.

No. He _couldn’t_ be.

And just before K could question this insane situation any further, Blaine turned away. It was as if he sang beautiful words to empty spaces all the time.

And he had lost sight of Macy, who thank Heavens, was back with her mother.

 _Good._  He had other things to focus on.


	4. Chapter 4

The medley of songs eventually came to an end, and the crowd began trickling away one by one.

Blaine packed up his guitar, sauntered out of the park after checking his watch and K felt like he was being pulled along with him. K had no idea how Blaine was doing that and if he was being honest, K couldn’t leave him if he wanted to.

Blaine’s thoughts contained so much  _joy_ , something K hadn’t felt in a long time. Not in such an overwhelming sense. And he was intelligent- that was something K was able to tell immediately. K couldn’t remember the last time he’d crossed a person whose thoughts and ideas processed across at that speed.

His train of thought bounced from elation, over to something K didn’t quite catch, wandering over at random sights he passed by, enchantment and appreciation of his surroundings, and  _music_.

There was music, and it wasn’t just running through Blaine’s head. No. It was pumping from his heart, coursing through his veins, emanating from his soul. K could feel it, which meant Blaine was the one actually feeling it.

He followed him to the place where Blaine seemed to live.

However, K didn’t enter, because, for the first time, K felt  _apprehension_.

As if he was supposed to get Blaine’s permission, which is what he assumed humans did. But he reminded himself of who—of  _what_  he was.

Still, he stopped himself- for now.

Instead of flitting, he chose to physically walk back to his destination, watching the city slowly fall asleep.

The stores had shuttered up, homes had their curtains drawn, and the world seemed empty by the considerable lack of thoughts.

He took his time, engrossed in his own mind, but didn’t utter any of his introspection out loud.

Not yet. He wanted to talk to someone wiser first.

Eventually, he ended up returning to his own little version of home; the edge of the 777. His constructed dwelling had a visitor, someone he was looking for. Someone who K thought might appreciate the questions he had in mind.

“Good evening, E.”

His versed companion didn’t even bother to face him when he asked about K’s whereabouts.

“It’s not like you couldn’t find me,” K replied, taking his seat right next to him.

“If you do not want to be found, I shall not come looking for you.”

“I was thinking…” K started.

“Dangerous thing. But then again, I have always encouraged that. What about?”

“Have you ever wondered what it would be like? To not be an angel, I mean. If you weren’t one?”

“No.” There was a long pause, and then E confessed, “Yes.”

“That is what was going through my mind today.”

“You were made as you were for a reason, K. An angel. Do not delve too deeply into such thoughts. It won’t work out well. Trust me.”

“Haven’t you ever thought about what it would be like? Warmth, touch… just- more?”

“Whatever got you into these thoughts in the first place?”

“He  _saw_  me.”

“What?” E said sharply, turning to study K’s face and discover if he was serious.

“He looked right at me. This man, in the park. He was singing something and he looked right at me.” K knew his words were redundant, but he couldn’t help himself. In his efforts to contain his excitement, his communication? became repetitive.

“Were you visible to him?”

“What do you mean?”

“I mean, did you make yourself appear in front of him?”

“We can do that?”

“Well…yes,” E declared. “You didn’t know? Perhaps you were unintentionally visible?”

“No. No, I didn’t, that’s not the case. Nobody else could see me. But  _he_  looked at me like I was there. It made me forget for a moment about what I was, or why I was even there.”

“K, it was most likely a chance that he was looking at a random space. Do not make a big deal out of it.”

“But if I wanted him to see me, I could choose to appear in front of him?” K asked, choosing his words carefully.

“Yes you could, but why on earth would you want that?”

A new day had begun upon this world, and K had a plan in mind. Praying, or in his case simply sending a message, that it would work.

“I’ll see you later E.”

* * *

Blaine lived in a recently renovated apartment building in the rougher part of town. K had seen much better homes than this, but knowing that a certain man occupied some space in there made it seem a little more exceptional than it actually was.

He watched him step out of the building and greet a jogger before he walking briskly to a bus stop. While he was adjusting his backpack, K moved closer and followed him into the bus as he took a seat.

Looking at him closely made K want to go through every book he had ever read to find the correct set of words worthy of describing him. What it was about this guy that was so enthralling K didn’t know, but he was intent on figuring out.

Blaine pushed a button to indicate that he’d be exiting at the next stop, which meant K would be too.

He trailed after him into some sort of bar and decided this would be the perfect time to do it. To appear. He’d watched multitudes of get-togethers take place at bars. Strangers meeting up with each other, it happened all the time.

He would wait for Blaine to take a seat somewhere, and then K would imitate what he’d seen happen thousands of times in front of him. Of course, his plan was entirely ruined when Blaine headed up to a stage and put a microphone in front of himself. He began to do the same thing as the previous day in the park, and K wondered if he did much of anything else with his time.

K took a seat at one of the many barstools near the back and began watching Blaine. K noticed that he himself wasn’t doing much of anything else either now. He guessed now would be a good time to try to see if being seen would work.

Of course, there was only one person whom he wished he could be visible to, but K didn’t think it worked that way.

For a while he didn’t think anything had happened, he’d basically just willed himself to be observable, but his doubts were repressed when a lady with a tray asked if he would like to order something.

“Me?” he asked incredulously. “You can see me?”

“Unless I’m as drunk as  _you_  seem to be, sweetheart. Yes, I can see you.”

K was too busy beaming with pride and amazement to answer the woman, and she seemed to understand that he would not be requiring a drink for a long time.

After coming down from the initial shock, the first thing he did was look at Blaine, and hope that he looked back.

He did.

 _‘Holy crap. Okay. There’s a gorgeous man looking right at you. Keep it cool,’_ K heard Blaine say to himself.

Instinctively, K looked right behind him only to find a wall, and it wasn’t until after a good minute that he processed that  _he_  was the ‘gorgeous man’ being referred to.

He returned his gaze back to Blaine, who had a confused look on his face, which soon transformed into an incredibly sweet smile that had K wishing he could flit both of them away and have Blaine give him that smile for eternity.

All this while, Blaine continued on with his set, occasionally giving bows and murmurs of appreciation to the rest of his audience.

However, his focus always drifted to the back of the room, behind all the chairs.

 


	5. Chapter 5

Half an hour later Blaine had finally finished his due portion, performed and hyped up the crowd enough to have them in a carefree mood, and disappeared behind the stage.

K hoped that wasn’t the end. All that anticipation and worry to just get a smile? Well, he considered that a meaningful achievement, but he couldn’t help but want more.

And he got it. Blaine walked out with his eyes fixated on him.

 _‘Okay. Okay, cool it, he’s just a guy. Like you…’_ Blaine thought, tapping his hands on the side of his legs nervously.

K wanted to laugh at just how wrong Blaine was, but he didn’t have the heart to do that. Right now, in his eyes, he was just an ordinary human, who apparently Blaine was nervous to talk to.

He could feel Blaine’s anxiousness, but he could also feel a sense of awe, at K. He felt in awe of his own self.

Blaine almost mirrored what K felt the previous day when he first saw him strumming his guitar and looking right at him.

“You look very out of place here,” Blaine said, in hopes of starting out a conversation between them.

“Excuse me?” K replied, astounded that he knew.

“Sorry! Oh, I don’t mean to be creepy! I meant to say that you look too well-dressed for this neighborhood. In a bar of all places.”

“Is this not considered proper attire?” he answered too quickly.

“You stand out, but it’s not the clothes that are doing that. Believe me.”

“Oh.”

“May I buy you a drink?” Blaine asked, a blush rising high on his cheeks.

“A drink?” K asked, briefly wondering what would happen if he did that. Angels didn’t drink, or eat, or smoke or feel hungry or do much of anything. Those were human things.

“Yes. Unless you’ve had enough of this pub and are as hungry as I am. Would it be too forward to ask you to lunch instead?”

_‘Oh no. That was too forward. I shouldn’t have said that…’_

K widened his eyes in shock. Blaine certainly didn’t look malnourished, but if he said so then K had to agree.

“If you’re starved, then you absolutely must eat. Yes, yes we should go get you some food.”

Blaine ended up giving him another one of those smiles accompanied by the greatest thing K had ever had the pleasure of hearing, his laugh.

“You’re unlike any man I’ve ever met,” Blaine said under his breath. “Sorry, I didn’t catch your name.”

“K-.” K, paused. He didn’t know everything about humans, but he was certain that their names were more than just a singular sound. He panicked, trying to think of a name.

And then he remembered one of the first people he’d come across.

He was an old man, who was near the end of his life, and had seen K come to help him cross over. And that old man had done the strangest thing after he entered the after-life; he’d introduced himself to K.

“I’m  _Kurt_ ,”

“ _Kurt_. I’m Blaine.”

K loved the way the word  _‘Kurt’_  sounded coming out of Blaine’s mouth. It would have made his heart race, if that were possible.

“Yes. I know.”

“I guess they must have introduced me while I was setting up,” Blaine wondered.

Nobody had announced his name beforehand, but K thought it was for the best that Blaine didn’t know that.

They ended up going to a small diner about a couple of blocks down the road and all K could focus on was getting there as fast as possible. He wished he could flit himself and Blaine to anywhere with a decent meal to satisfy Blaine, but he kept that urge under control.

“This place is really nice,” Blaine enthused, after a bite of a grilled cheese sandwich. “They always have these wonderful student deals going on! I haven’t been a student for a while now, but my card doesn’t expire until next year, so I have to use it while I still can.

Blaine took another bite, and then asked, “Are you sure you aren’t hungry? Because I feel terrible eating while you aren’t, but I also haven’t had a bite all day,”

“Yes. I’m sure.” K said matter-of-factly. “To be honest, I don’t exactly eat this food.”

“Oh! I’m sorry! I usually would have done  _this_  so much better,” Blaine said, shrinking back into his seat.

“What do you mean?” K asked, immediately wanting Blaine to come back to his normal self.

‘ _Oh god. Look at him- he’s probably a stinking-rich businessman or young billionaire used to goddamn five-star restaurants as one of his properties, and I’m here bringing him to a hole-in-the-wall diner…why would you do that, Blaine? Your parents raised you better than this.’_

“I like this. I wanted to go somewhere with you, and make sure you weren’t starved. That was the priority.” K said, noticing this was the first time he had ever relayed consolation to a human through speech.

“I was kidding!” Blaine said, smiling nervously. “I guess I need to tone down my over-acting,”

“Well, then how would I know when you really are in danger or trouble?” K asked worriedly.

“I guess you’d have to keep a check on me,” Blaine winked.

“If you’d like, I could.”

Blaine chortled, and K was proud of this sudden new power he possessed; making him laugh.

“Are you from around here?”

“I’ve been here quite a while.”

“I just moved here, actually! I’m a recent graduate of Tisch, and now trying my luck in this city, just waiting for an opportunity.”

“An opportunity to do what?”

“Get some roles. I want to dabble in music, or acting. Anything would be fine with me, if I’m honest. What about you, what do you do?”

“I… ” K scrambled for the right words. “I get people where they need to be.”

“You don’t really me as a taxi or limo driver.”

“No, no. I suppose I could have phrased that better. You could say I guide people.”

“Like a counselor?” Blaine’s eyes lit up. “That’s amazing!”

“Yes. Something like that.”

“Do you work at a school? With kids?”

“Not exactly, I mostly help… everybody,” K provided hesitantly.

Blaine nodded as if he completely understood.

“Community centers must be lucky to have you, I had a friend who volunteered back at home in Ohio. And you seem like a really good person, I can tell.”

“You can?” K asked with a tone of surprise.

“Yup, and that’s basically what I want to do as well. Just in a different way. I wanna help people, change their lives in some way.”

“It isn’t as great of a job as you imagine it to be.”

“Yeah, well, I’m sure there are some bad days, but in the end if you can change even one person’s life for the better, I think it would be worth it.”

“At times I don’t even know why I’m doing it, and I don’t ever get thanked,” K confessed defeatedly, questioning why he was broadcasting his frustrations to a human.

“Some people are ill-mannered. They don’t know when to appreciate kindness or blessings even when they’re handed to them. But you need to remember that there are many who do.”

“Like you.”

“Well, my grandmother always taught me to be thankful. In whatever way life’s going, that’s the only way to be truly happy.”

“Are you happy right now?” Kurt asked cautiously.

“Well, I’m talking to this really extraordinary man whom I can’t seem to shake off and really want to spend more time with. So yes, I’m happy.”

“You are referring to me, correct?”

“Correct,” Blaine smiled.

K decided that from this day forward he wanted to be called Kurt.

It felt right. The only name he’d ever consider more wonderful than Kurt however, was  _Blaine_.


	6. Chapter 6

After they had finished their meal, or rather when Blaine finished his, he asked for Kurt’s number.

It was a question that was accompanied by a great amount of nervousness on Blaine’s part, which Kurt could feel permeating out of him.

A question to which Kurt was unsure how to respond to.

He waited an almost uncomfortable amount of time before finally saying, “I don’t have one.”

“Oh?”

Blaine’s feeling of apprehension was replaced with those of confusion and then distress. And as they radiated from him, Kurt found it harder to bear.

 _‘He doesn’t want you to have his number’_ Blaine thought to himself. _‘Obviously.’_

Somehow it hurt a little bit more that he had caused that reaction. Kurt never wanted to make Blaine feel that way.

“I could give you an address!” Kurt burst out.

“Really?” Blaine frowned in confusion.

Kurt wanted to retract that statement, judging by Blaine’s reaction. He should have known it was weird to just  _say_  that. But Blaine quickly erased his fears.

“Yeah! Yeah okay, you can, let me just…find a… there.”

He took a pen out of his satchel and held his own hand out for Kurt to write upon. Kurt could see the words form in his mind but as he had never used a writing instrument in his life, he had no idea how it would look written on paper.

“It’s the 777 Tower,” Kurt said, as Blaine took the hint and wrote it down himself on a nearby napkin. “I’m there almost all the time,”

“Okay?” Blaine acquiesced in a trepidatious manner, but Kurt could tell that Blaine still trusted him. “I guess I’ll see you around then.”

Kurt saw that Blaine squeezed his hand before leaving, and Kurt tried to reciprocate it. He couldn’t physically feel Blaine’s hand, but he could feel the warmth Blaine was trying to convey.

“I really hope you do,” Kurt said louder than he intended. Blaine gave him a soft smile and wave while he left.

As soon as he was out of sight Kurt looked around before fading out of view as well.

Rather than going ‘ _home_ ’, Kurt searched for someone to talk to, someone he could share the day’s events with.

But who?

Kurt finally settled on E, knowing that even though he would most likely disapprove, he could also give him some advice on other concerns he had.

* * *

“E?” he ventured carefully, as he appeared next to his friend, hoping he wasn’t interrupting anything. “Are you currently on duty?”

“No. I’m just loitering if you consider that a possibility for us.”

“I guess we’re subject to many loopholes.”

“That is true,” E nodded. “How was your day?”

“Eventful,” Kurt replied.

“Really? What happened?”

“I actually had a few more questions to ask you,” Kurt said, trying to avoid having to lie.

“About?”

“All these humans carry cell phones, as a form of communication. Do we have our own version of that, or something similar to theirs?”

“A cell phone?” E asked, an expression of disgust forming on his face. “That device that they treat like another body part? No. Of course not.”

“Why not?”

“Well for starters it would be impractical for us. Unless you want to resort to human means of transport, the speed at which we flit would most likely damage the device, which I presume to be made of electrical materials. Also, I believe it needs a certain amount of commitment to taking care of it, they all treat it like a pet. I’ve seen them.”

“I can be committed.”

“Why, K? Tell me why you want this thing?”

“I just- I would like to know more- to understand  _them_  more.”

“You’ve been around them for all this time, why the sudden interest?”

“It’s not that, I just- it’s fine. You could forget that we discussed this,”

“It won’t be that simple my dear boy, but I am not the one who needs to forget.”

Kurt was liking these talks less and less every day.

“One more thing,” Kurt continued. “I would appreciate if you called me Kurt from this moment on.”

He did not wait to hear E’s reply.

* * *

The only highlight of the following days was Blaine. The first day Kurt couldn’t help but watch over him but from a distance.

Being too close felt like he was invading a privacy he hadn’t been given permission to, at least not at the time. It could have also been a result of nerves since Kurt had never felt such a way about a  _human_  before.

He caught Blaine walking towards the 777 building about three days after their encounter, and Kurt decided to intercept him en route.

“Hello there,” Kurt said, taking form near the entrance of the building, but out of sight so that he didn’t scare anyone, especially Blaine.

“Kurt!” Blaine exclaimed, sporting an expression somewhere between shock and awe. “Where did you come from?”

“That’s a complicated question,” Kurt answered somberly, but he got a laugh from Blaine in return.

_‘Adorable’_

Blaine thought he was adorable, and if it were possible for angels to blush, Kurt would have done exactly that.

“So…I am usually a little more patient with guys I meet, but…” Blaine started hesitantly, and continued the sentence in his mind  _‘but there’s something special about you…’_

“But?” Kurt asked, hoping he would voice those thoughts out loud.

Instead, Blaine asked: “But…would you mind joining me for a cup of coffee?”

“Nothing would make me happier,” Kurt answered.


	7. Chapter 7

As Blaine sipped on a cup of what was most certainly murky brown liquidy coffee, but Blaine seemed to find it delicious. Kurt took the opportunity to look at him more closely.

Of course, he could have done that before as well, by not being visible, but it wouldn’t have meant the same thing. Being this close to Blaine was not only his decision, Blaine was part of it as well. Blaine was giving him permission to look and appreciate.

Kurt imagined what it would feel like to touch Blaine’s hair. It looked so soft and luscious as if clouds from above had been crafted in jet black and curls upon his head. They were cut close and were neatly styled so that they didn’t look too messy.

His skin looked so different from his own. Kurt’s had never been affected by the sun, never marred by any scars. He was clean-shaven, Kurt observed; which he’d never noticed about humans before.

Kurt didn’t know what Blaine smelled like. He wouldn’t have known how to describe it even if he could catch his scent, but he was sure it was wonderful, like every other part of him.

His time admiring Blaine was abruptly cut short when he noticed someone heading towards them. It was E. Blaine hopefully couldn’t see him, but Kurt jerked away in fear of what was about to happen.

“Hey. Is everything alright?” Blaine asked worriedly, as Kurt scrambled to stand up as quickly as possible.

Kurt replied with the only answer that made sense, “I’m so sorry, but I… I have to get to work.”

“Oh! Would you like me to walk you to a bus stop?” he offered, getting up as well.

“No…No, I just…I’ll…We’ll meet again very soon, I promise.” Kurt said hastily.

He glanced at E who seemed to have ceased his walk towards them but hadn’t stopped glaring at Kurt.

“Alright then. I guess I’ll see you when I see you,” Blaine smiled, gathering his satchel as he watched Kurt leave.

* * *

Kurt pretended to turn and steadily walk in an opposite direction momentarily and then flitted back to where Ecanus had caught them.

Kurt hated to admit it, but he was terrified of what would happen next.

“ _That_  is how you are spending your time?” E lashed out, in a tone Kurt had never heard him use before. “ _That_  is why you were so inquisitive these past few days? For a  _man_?”

“He’s not just anyone!” Kurt cried defensively. “I- I don’t exactly understand what it is exactly, but I  _need_  to be around him. It’s like how we inexplicably know when and where we have to be for a job, or how natural our desire to look out for others is. It’s like that, but more uncontrollable.”

“I don’t know how you can say that.” E shook his head, “You compare your entire purpose to something that you just explored on a whim?”

“Someone,” Kurt corrected, slowly getting angrier at his older companion. “He’s not  _something_. And yes, because that is the truth, and I haven’t  _begun_  to cover all of it.”

“So you have become visible to this human? You’ve conversed with him? You’ve kept in contact with him?”

“Yes.”

“And what you were engaging in with him? That attempt at intimacy? Could you feel that as well?”

Kurt was taken aback, and was silent for a moment before he responded hesitantly, “I could feel it. But not physically, obviously not.”

“Does that not tell you anything?” E asked in disbelief. “That you are not meant to have this? The mere fact that you cannot sense anything around that man should be enough for you to know!”

“Then why did I meet him? Why was he there right now? If all that was never meant to happen then why did it?” Kurt pulled the same card E had handed to him countless times. “Do you not ever think of the possibility that some things may be under our own control?”

“I don’t even know whether I can refer to your behavior as disobedience or blasphemy.”

“It is neither. My intention was not based on something evil, or negative. I do not believe I have done anything wrong. As an angel, do you not think I would have been the first to sense if things were not going right?”

“All I know  _Kurt_ , that you have been ignoring duties in favor of a less than acceptable act. I do not know what shall happen to you after this, and when it does, I won’t be able to help you.”

“Perhaps I do not need your help. You’ve taught me, you’ve taken care of me, and guided me for a long, long time, and I am forever grateful for that. But if I cannot ensure your support in this matter, then I think I am better off without it completely.”

“If that’s what you think,” E said slowly, “then I’m afraid you’re right.”

He then vanished from plain sight, and suddenly, the weight of the entire exchange settled on Kurt.

“What have I done?” he asked out loud.

* * *

He’d spoiled his chance of spending more time with Blaine today, but that did not mean he could not see him. It just wouldn’t be a two-way street.

He reached Blaine’s apartment and just seconds later, he was outside his door, almost wanting to be invited inside.

But Blaine had not given him any information about where he lived yet, so it would most likely result in him questioning exactly how trustworthy Kurt was.

Before he could make a decision to go inside, a nearby elevator made a ringing sound to indicate it had reached its desired floor. Exiting it was a man who clearly had his hands full with groceries, a few other bags, and a stroller with a crying baby.

“Shit. I mean, shoot. You didn’t hear that from me, Abby.” the disgruntled father said, dragging himself and everything towards his apartment.

Kurt wanted to help, but before he could do anything, the door in front of him opened.

“Hey, I can grab that for you,” Blaine said pleasantly, grabbing onto the bags of groceries slipping out of the stranger’s grasp.

“Thank you so much,” the man thanked him as he began searching for his keys.

Kurt noticed that the child had suddenly stopped crying and was looking at him. Kurt knew that she could see him, but couldn’t remember the exact reason why.

Regardless, the atmosphere was generally more relaxed now that there were no more grating sounds of a wailing baby.

“No problem, ”Blaine replied to the stranger. “You looked like you could use some help.”

“Yeah. I thought I could handle it, but clearly, I was in way over my head.”

The man finally managed to unlock his door and started heading inside with his child, but not before saying, “I haven’t seen you around here, are you a new tenant?”

“Yes,” Blaine said, handing his bags to him. “I just moved in a few weeks ago,”

“Oh please, please come in,” he motioned for Blaine to come inside, and Kurt took the opportunity to slip in as well. “I’m Nathan, by the way.”

“Blaine, nice to meet you,” Blaine smiled and bent down towards the baby’s pram. “And who is this lovely little princess?”

“That’s Abby. I’m sure she’s made her presence known at about 2 AM every other night,” Nathan chuckled.

“Oh, that’s right! Very powerful lungs. But she’s beautiful so I guess she’s allowed to get away with it.”

Nathan grinned, his face a mixture of gratitude and apology.

“I’m sorry we haven’t gotten a chance to speak to you before, it’s just that things are pretty hectic recently. Me and my wife, we’ve got the shittie- worst shifts. We barely get time to see each other, let alone make time for Abby. It’s all just a little upside-down right now.”

Kurt could tell how stressed this man was, the weariness spreading through the atmosphere so thickly that Kurt could almost see it.

“Your wife’s working right now?” Blaine asked.

While Blaine and Nathan talked, Kurt knelt down right in front of Abby and smiled. She began gurgling back and reaching her arms out towards him.

Her father took that as a sign that she wanted to be held and picked her up.

“Yeah, Scarlet had the chance to work during the day, but her work has a no-child policy, which I’m pretty sure my own boss is gonna implement soon enough,” Nathan explained, rocking his daughter gently. “We had to make it so that one of us always home, but I noticed the groceries were finished, and that’s how I got into this mess.”

“You guys could really use a hand,” Blaine remarked.

“Yeah, but hands cost money, which we don’t exactly have,” Nathan shrugged, seemingly unafraid to share a story too many would relate to. “We can’t spend anything on a nanny or a babysitter.”

“I could do it,” Blaine offered kindly. “If it was during the day because I usually get most of my shifts at night.”

“I’m sorry, I was so caught up in my own issues, I didn’t even ask what you do.”

“That’s fine. I’m a singer actually. For now…I’m getting by with a little help from my parents, which I’m trying to change, and what I make with these cafes and bars.”

“And you want to babysit?”

“Well, I’m mostly just writing music or laying around bored. Your wife could take that day shift if that’s still possible.”

“Uh, to be honest, I’d have to discuss it with her. But I really, really appreciate the offer.”

“I completely understand,” Blaine nodded, realizing he may have overstepped. After all, he’d just met the man. He got up and began heading towards the front door.

“Just once again, thank you for everything,” Nathan said, following him and opening the door.

“There’s no need to thank me. And if you need help with anything else you know where to find me,” Blaine replied warmly, waving goodbye to the baby as well as her father.

Kurt left through the door alongside Blaine, shaking his head in amazement at just what a specimen of a man he had found.


	8. Chapter 8

He’d been completely avoiding his duties for about a week now and was slowly beginning to feel terrible about it. 

Kurt decided he’d give it a go and not think about Blaine, for at least the entire day. Or maybe half the day. He finally settled on taking it by the hour.

It still felt right to do good. To calm people down, to take care of others, to help them out.

A little boost of confidence for a girl speaking in front of her entire school at an assembly.

Pushing the remote a bit closer to an old man resting in his armchair.

Cooling off a manager who was yelling at an already dangerously depressed employee.

He did like his job. It felt good.

But it didn’t feel perfect. He’d experienced perfection and didn’t want to let it go.

* * *

Kurt managed to  _‘run into’_  Blaine the next afternoon at a nearby convenience store.

“Kurt!” Blaine exclaimed. He put his shopping basket and pulled Kurt into a warm hug. At least, Kurt assumed it was warm.

“ _Blaine_ ,” Kurt replied, once he let go.

“Was everything okay at work? You seemed sort of agitated yesterday.”

Blaine was concerned about him. Obviously.

Kurt laughed nervously but shook his head. “I got into an argument of sorts. With a— I guess you could call him a co-worker.”

“About what?” Blaine asked his tilting to the side in question. He did that sometimes. It was such a human thing to do, to have a distinct involuntary habit, and Kurt loved it.

“He and I had some disagreements on how I should spend my free time.”

“Why does he care what you do with your own time?”

“I- I don’t know. He’s much older and wiser than I am, and he’s always looked out for me.”

“Well, I don’t think that counts for dictating your life, you know. That’s up to you.”

“Yes. That’s what I said.”

“Well. Good.”

“Are you free today?” Kurt asked, not really having a plan of what to do with the rest of his day, but hoping he could do it around Blaine.

“Not exactly. I’ve sort of got this thing where I’m looking after this kid, for my neighbors. They needed some help, and I thought they’d take a while to decide since I only met them a couple days ago, and the wife, she took one look at me and said she could trust me,” he shrugged self-deprecatingly but had a smile on his face nevertheless.

Kurt didn’t really understand what Blaine meant by that last part but smiled supportively just because Blaine seemed so happy.

“I don’t blame her for employing you. You’re very skilled at charming people.”

Blaine’s eyes twinkled. “Are you…  _flirting_?”

“That is what we’re supposed to do right? We have progressed on from the initial meet, and have gotten to know each other a little better. From my knowledge, that usually occurs around this time.”

“You’re absolutely right,” Blaine laughed. “This is exactly what comes next.”

 _‘Does he have any idea how adorable this whole “clueless” thing is?’_ Blaine asked himself.

Kurt thought about insisting that he wasn’t clueless, but thought it better not to.

“Is this why you’re here? Shopping for baby things?”

“Oh, no. I need some groceries for myself. I just need to be there on time, which is in about half an hour.”

“Blaine. I— Can we meet again soon? If you’d like to continue this between us.”

“Of course I do!” he beamed. “I’m kind of preoccupied today, but how about tomorrow night? We could watch a movie. I’d invite you to dinner, but my home’s a mess of boxes that I haven’t gotten round to unpacking.”

“That’s perfectly fine. You just tell me the place and time and I’ll be there,” Kurt said.

After he committed the name of the cinema to memory he bid his goodbyes to Blaine and wandered around the store by himself. He knew how this would probably be the most useless place for an angel to be. Nothing in this shop would be of  _‘convenience’_  to him. Ice-cream bars, hygienic products, shaving cream, energy drinks.

Nothing. He’d never need any of it because there was no point. These items were for  _People_. Yet again he was hit with the reality of the difference between himself and Blaine. Reminded again that he was not in fact human.

So what was he  _thinking,_  trying to imagine a life with Blaine, around him? He couldn’t have that as an angel. 

He couldn’t even touch him or know what he felt like. Kurt felt the weight of disappointment pull him down, and he knew that if he divulged into more of those thoughts, it would be both unwise and unfair to himself.

He couldn’t help what he was.

* * *

Kurt decided to check on Blaine and the baby, hoping Blaine was handling her well. Unfortunately, when he appeared at their front door, Kurt could clearly tell that wasn’t the case.

“Do you want some milk?” Blaine asked desperately, barely able to hear his own voice above the baby’s yells. “Okay, okay, please don’t cry. Oh no… I could… do you wanna hear a song? C’mon lets sing a song.”

“ _The wheels on the bus go round and—“_

Another shriek pierced the air and Blaine winced, resorting to picking her up to calm her down.

“C’mon. C’mon… shhh… don’t cry,” Blaine hushed her while walking around patting her back.

Kurt silently watched the train-wreck in front of him and decided to intervene, which would include only one person in the room knowing of his presence. The one who wasn’t even a year old, of course.

He trod behind Blaine and reached out to calm Abby. He lightly stroked the top of her head, and almost immediately her bawling quietened down to little sobs.

“Aw, okay. That’s good. That’s a good girl,” Blaine comforted her.

 _‘Thank you.’_ Blaine thought, looking upwards at the ceiling. Kurt was slightly disheartened that he looked in that direction rather than right behind him, but how could he possibly know that Kurt was responsible?

Kurt noticed that the girl was fully attentive now, reaching out to him as if she wanted his physical comfort again. Kurt finally remembered why babies did that. Why they could still see angels, and why they always craved their comfort and presence.

E had once explained to him that babies were very new to the world, but their souls still remembered what it was like before. Back up above. Every time an angel was around them, they could sense the serenity and warmth of where they came from, and they wanted to relive those feelings.

An angel’s touch had a tranquilizing effect on them.

Kurt clasped her tiny hand in the tip of his forefinger and thumb, and held it lightly, hoping that he could comfort her in the way E had said it would. Apparently, it did, because her mouth curled upwards into a toothless smile, and she actually laughed.

“Was that a laugh?” Blaine asked incredulously, moving her to face him. “Are we finally gonna have a good time?”

Kurt made a funny face behind Blaine’s back to elicit another laugh from her, to which Blaine cheered an elated, “Yes!”

The next few hours continued in a similar fashion, with Kurt maneuvering himself so that Blaine wouldn’t think Abby was looking at anyone but him.

There was a moment, where Abby was trying to grab him again, but instead settled on laying her head on Blaine’s shoulder and curling her little fist into his shirt. For the shortest second, Kurt felt a pang of jealousy.

And right after that, he felt stupidity. Here he was, an angel of the heaven’s, with powers he was afraid of figuring out, envious of an infant who couldn’t even sit up straight.

But she could have something Kurt couldn’t.

She had senses he didn’t, that he would do anything to have. Of course at her age, she barely had any knowledge of what was even going on, but Kurt couldn’t help it. He didn’t feel like doing much of anything after that.

Eventually, Blaine laid her down in her crib in the living room and took a seat on the couch, exhausted from walking around and singing to a baby. He rubbed his eyes and yawned, and Kurt almost felt sorry for him before he remembered he’d done almost all the work.

“I’m home!” announced a woman’s voice from the front door.

“Shh,” Blaine chastised, checking to see if Abby was still asleep. She was.

“Sorry,” came the whispered reply. “You got her to sleep?”

“Yeah. Do you want me to put her into a room so we can stop whispering?”

The woman, who Kurt assumed was Scarlet, motioned Blaine to stay seated while she carefully picked up her daughter and carried her into the room. She came out moments later and offered Blaine refreshments.

“Aw, no thanks, I’m good.”

“How was it? Did you have any trouble?”

“To be honest, the first hours were pretty tough because she wouldn’t stop crying. But she calmed down and soon we were laughing and having a really good time. She just fell asleep about fifteen minutes before you got home.”

“That’s incredible. I don’t know how I can ever repay you for this. You have no idea how much this means to me and my husband.”

“No problem, really. I was surprised at how easy it was, I guess I’m just naturally good with kids.” Blaine shrugged bashfully and Kurt snickered in response to that statement.

Scarlet suddenly flinched and looked around. A look of confusion settled on her face and she finally asked, “Did you invite someone over?”

Kurt stopped grinning and turned to face the woman. It couldn’t be possible that she had heard him, he wasn’t visible right now. And Blaine couldn’t see him.

“What? No, of course not. It was just me and Abby in here.”

“Oh. Never mind then. It’s a mom thing, I just need to keep control of everything,” she said, but didn’t sound very sure of herself.

“Well then, I guess I should be leaving.”

Blaine hugged her warmly before walking towards the door.

“Thanks again, Blaine. You moving in next door has been a blessing and if there’s anything we can do to repay you…”

“No, no, none of that,” Blaine said, interrupting her kindly. “I’ll see you soon, and give Abby a goodnight hug from me!”

Scarlet smiled, “You have a good evening.”

Kurt didn’t leave with Blaine this time, he was terrified of what had just happened. Scarlet wasn’t just being worrisome. She knew something more. And Kurt was determined to find out what.


	9. Chapter 9

Scarlet started to pick up her things as she got settled in for the day.

She then noticed the slight mess in the kitchen, probably Blaine’s doing as he spilled some milk formula on the countertop.

 _‘He has no idea what he’s doing, does he? But at least he’s trying,’_ she thought to herself fondly.

Kurt slowly approached her as she started to wipe up the mess. She froze in place and looked up from the counter towards Kurt’s general direction.

_‘I must be going insane. There’s no one here. There’s no one here. Just breathe, you had a long day.’_

He could tell she was still frightened: her breathing had increased rapidly and despite the comfort she gave herself, she was still looking around the entire apartment cautiously. For as long as Kurt could remember, he had never been scared of a human, but right now he definitely was.

When the sound of a soft cry came from a baby monitor, the source of which was obviously Abby in the bedroom, Scarlet dashed at an incredible speed towards the room.

Kurt followed suit and saw Scarlet holding Abby tightly while looking behind the curtain and closet doors. Kurt wanted to place his hands on her shoulders to calm her down, but before he could touch her, she cried “Stay away from me!”

Kurt backed away in utter shock as Scarlet continued. “I know why you’re here. Just please, please don’t take my child.”

Kurt retreated to the corner of the room and took a huge gamble: he became visible to her.

“I’m not here to take her away,” he said quietly, hoping to calm the woman down.

“F-For me then?”

“No. No, I’m not. I won’t. I’m not going to take any of you away. That’s not my job,” Kurt didn’t know why he said that, but she clearly was aware of what he and his kind did.

“Then why are you here?” She was trembling, clearly scared out of her wits.

“I—I- how did you know I was here? Do you know what I am?” Kurt asked carefully, reflecting her emotions of horror and suspicion.

“You’re an angel. You stay with people who need help, or you take them away when they’re about to die. That’s why I was scared- because I assumed the worst.”

“It’s fine. I understand, but how did you know I was there? You didn’t see me, did you?”

“I could sense it,” Scarlet explained, a little more composed now she knew Kurt didn’t pose a threat. She laid down Abby into her cot and leaned heavily against a nearby dresser.

“How? How could you possibly have known I was here? And how do you know all those things about us?”

“Because I was one too.”

“You- I don’t believe you,” Kurt said incredulously.

“You all still hang around tall buildings, right?” Scarlet demanded. “You read minds and jump from place to place at incredible speeds because most of you guys can’t be bothered to fly. You can sense emotions, but can’t feel, or touch, or taste or smell anything.”

Kurt gaped at her.

“You aren’t answering my question.”

“How’s Diari?” she asked instead.

“Who?”

“Diari? You may just know him as D? What about Ecanus?”

“Ecanus? You mean E? You know him?” Kurt asked in shock, his mind racing with questions. Of course, some of them must have felt the same longing for a name as he had. But they had never revealed it to him, not once. But clearly Scarlet knew them far better than he did.

“We haven’t spoken in a long time. He refused to, more to the point, but we weren’t that close, to begin with.”

She stepped closer to him, knowing that she was no longer the stunned being in the room.

“I haven’t seen one of you in so long. I forgot how beautiful we used to be. Unblemished and perfect.”

“You’re not an angel anymore, are you?” Kurt concluded.

“No. Not anymore.”

“How?”

“I chose it.”

“What?”

“ _I_.  _Chose_.  _This_.”

“Impossible.”

“I’m right here in front of you. I’m living, breathing,  _feeling_  proof.”

“How?” Kurt demanded again.

“I jumped,” she explained as if it were the simplest answer in the world. “I jumped and I fell. And when I woke up, I was no longer an angel. Instead, my hands were scraped, I was terrified, and I was awfully hungry.”

“You jumped and turned human?  _Human_?” Kurt didn’t believe a single word, yet the refutation was standing right in front of him.

“Yes. You think just because these people on earth are  _His_  favorite creations that he wouldn’t give us a choice too? To live?”

“ _Why_? Why did you do it?”

She looked to Abby, who was fascinated by the mobile that was spinning around above her.

“And Nathan. I fell in love with him.”

“You jumped for him?”

“Not only him, I also jumped for myself. I had to know what I was missing out on, to experience life, and love the way  _they_  do. And I could have never had the life I do now if I was still an angel. I could have never had  _her_.”

Kurt didn’t have a response. He didn’t know what to think, and he didn’t have anything to say.

“You still haven’t answered my question,” Scarlet asked eventually. “What are you doing here?”

“I was looking out for Abby.”

“Was she in trouble?” she asked concernedly. “Did Blaine… did the man who was taking care of her do something… bad?”

“No! No. Blaine’s not like that, he’d never do anything to hurt her. Ever.”

“It seems you know him better than I do.”

Kurt tried not to smile too obviously. “Yes. I’ve become quite acquainted with him.”

“You follow him around?”

“Yes. But he’s seen me. I… I appeared to him.”

“Interesting. Sounds to me like you were here looking out for him rather than Abby.”

“That—might be true. I was worried about him, and I needed to see him. Recently, I’ve been,” he searched for the right words. “… avoiding my responsibilities. I can’t seem to focus on them, and the only person I could talk to about any of this has left my side.”

“Who?”

“You said you knew him. E.  _Ecanus_? He was my mentor and my only friend.”

“Well, from what I remember, he was very stubborn about his beliefs. But if you ever need anyone to talk to, you know where to find me. Just avoid coming here when Nathan is home. It would be hard to explain this to him.”

“You mean he doesn’t know? About you, or anything?”

“No. I never told him.”

“You lied?”

“Not exactly. I just never bought it up. It’s simpler that way. I wanted to so many times, but it would have confused him. You know how it is. Nobody cares about us anymore, and I don’t like thinking of the past. I have a future to look forward to.”

“I think I understand what you mean. Please don’t tell Blaine, about me. He doesn’t know.”

“Of course I won’t. You take care of yourself— wait, you never told me your name.”

“K. But I like Kurt better.”

“So do I. Good luck, Kurt. With everything.”


	10. Chapter 10

“Do you like the film so far?” Blaine asked, offering Kurt the popcorn again. This time Kurt actually took a few and ate them slowly.

Nothing. As usual. But Blaine didn’t know that, he didn’t need to. He nodded his response while chewing the popped kernels of bland nothingness.

If Kurt was going to be truthful, as angels almost always are, he didn’t really understand the concept of films in general.

Why would humans spend so much time, money and effort to make something that everyone could just see happening around them all the time? And then they asked other humans to pay money to go see these things as well. Why couldn’t they just look around?

Then again, Kurt scolded himself for judging something without having a proper understanding of it. Perhaps humans enjoyed something more out of it, that he as an angel could not get. But he found books more exciting than films.

He understood why books were there. He’d seen so much, so many different things in his years, that he could easily relate to or imagine exactly what the authors of the books he read were trying to convey. Perhaps, with their limited experiences, humans needed to rely on the visuals of films to help them see more.

But Blaine wasn’t like that. He wasn’t imperceptive like many others he’d seen on this earth. Blaine knew something more, much more than he wanted to let on. He was intelligent, artistic, insightful, and he  _cared_.

And not in a sense where he was nice to people for a reason, or for others to think good of him. He cared for the heck of it. He cared unconditionally, loved wholeheartedly, and was just intrinsically good. And he didn’t put much thought into it either.

He just was that good of a person.

Kurt didn’t even notice that the movie had ended, or that Blaine had intertwined their hands together. He felt guilty about his own lack of sensations, Blaine could have been holding his hand for a few seconds or an hour and Kurt wouldn’t have known.

He hadn’t given a reaction to Blaine’s gesture, clearly meant to be romantic, or something of the sort. Then he remembered that he had no idea how he would react to it.  _Should he squeeze his hand in acknowledgment? How would he be able to tell if he was squeezing too hard? What if he hurt Blaine? What if he…_

“You ready to go?” Blaine interrupted his thoughts and had both of his hands stuffed in the pockets of his jacket. He didn’t know what it would have felt like to clasp Blaine’s hand with his own, but due to some cruel logic, he could feel the emptiness of not having it there.

“Absolutely,” Kurt said.

* * *

They stepped out into the open afternoon breeze, Kurt knowing that Blaine felt like walking rather than taking a bus so he could spend some more time with Kurt. Strolling through the parking lot, Kurt observed Blaine shivering slightly and realized that he was probably cold.

It was early December, but the only way Kurt could guess the was weather based on what he saw and what people wore. And a jacket wasn’t enough to keep Blaine warm if he planned to walk all the way to his home.

“You’re cold,” Kurt remarked.

“Just a little. How aren’t you freezing? All you’re wearing is a thin coat.”

‘ _And a suit. Which you never seem to change out of… Oh well, you look hot_ ,’ Blaine added mentally.

“I don’t really get cold,” Kurt said, grinning slightly at Blaine’s unsaid comment.

“Lucky. I usually don’t let it bother me so much, but I really don’t wanna catch anything, cause then I’ll just end up giving it to Abby.”

“Oh yes. Your infant friend. How is she?”

“She’s just the sweetest thing in the world,” Blaine gushed, walking closer to Kurt. If he had any hopes of sharing body heat, that would be useless, but Kurt wasn’t ever going to tell him that. He gladly allowed Blaine to invade his personal space.

“Every time she smiles, it’s hard to believe there is anything wrong in this world.”

“I know what you mean.” Kurt smiled.

Blaine half smiled, not fully acknowledging Kurt’s subtle compliment, and Kurt got the sudden notion something was wrong. Which was strange because if something was off, Kurt should have been able to sense it immediately. He’d been doing his job for so long, so how could he mess it up on the person who he wished to never see unhappy?

The idea of being thrown off his game made Kurt stop in place and question it all.

“Blaine? Is everything alright?”

“Um…Yeah, of course.”

“Blaine?”

“I’m good. Just really tired,” he said, yawning emphatically. “Sorry.”

Kurt heard Blaine scold himself.  _‘You have a goddamn degree in performing and you couldn’t even fool him for a second.’_

“You seem angry. Did I say something?” Kurt asked worriedly, surprised at Blaine’s sudden change in temperament and impressive ability to change his mood within moments.

“No. No, it wasn’t anything you did. I—I’m just. When I’m alone with my thoughts, I don’t always get productive.” He breathed a heavy sigh.

Kurt looked at him a little while longer, almost hoping that would force him to say what was on his mind.

And it worked. Kurt would need to re-evaluate just how much power he possessed.

“I thought moving here, to this city, was a chance worth taking. That I was doing the right thing. And so far it has been complete hell.  My parents were right when they said I’d fail if I moved out of Ohio, and lately, I can’t help but think they were right. And I don’t have anyone here for me either. Not a single friend.”

“That’s not true, Blaine. That I can promise you.”

“Well, besides  _you_ , obviously. But I’m not sure friend  is the word I’d use to describe you.”

Kurt was incredibly happy with that statement. He knew what Blaine meant, they were everything friends could be, but that wasn’t enough. They had the potential to be so much more.

“May I suggest something?” Kurt said.

“Yeah. Yeah, of course. Anything.”

“Can we head to the park, downtown? I… I really enjoy that place.”

“Sure, it’s not too far from here, if you don’t mind walking a little more.”

“Of course not.” This time Kurt took the initiative and held Blaine’s hand in his own.

When they got there, Blaine coincidentally led him to the very same area Kurt had first seen him, and where he believed Blaine had seen him too.

“I love this spot. It just feels right, you know? It’s got enough space to lay down, and a tree for some support while sitting. I usually come here to read or write some songs. Sometimes just think, but only good things, I promise,” Blaine assured him.

Kurt smiled, still staring at Blaine lovingly, wishing he could spend all of eternity listening to him talk.

“Well, would you like to take a seat?” Blaine gestured to the ledge. “Or did you have another spot in mind?”

“No. This is perfect.”

After Kurt sat down, Blaine immediately joined him, closer in proximity than Kurt had ever been to anyone. And although he could plainly see Blaine’s arm pressed against his own he couldn’t feel it. Had he not been looking, he wouldn’t have been able to tell if Blaine was even doing that.

“Is this okay?” Blaine asked, noticing Kurt staring at where they made contact. “The last thing I want to do is make you uncomfortable and…”

Kurt was sure if he had a working human heart, it would have raced faster than he could manage.

“Yes. Of course, it’s okay. Please, just stay right here,” Kurt interrupted him as if he were short of breath.  

“Okay.”

Blaine sat still for as long as he could, which was about a minute before he shifted into a more comfortable position. Out of the corner of his eye, Kurt noticed he was leaning slightly more on him.

They rested in silence for a while, before Kurt interrupted it with a request. “May I ask you a question?”

Kurt didn’t even know why he was doing this.

“Go ahead.”

“Do you believe in angels?”

“Uhh. Random. But okay? You mean like do I believe in God?” Blaine asked confusedly.

“No. Angels. Specifically.”

Blaine turned his head so he was looking at Kurt directly. “I don’t know. I guess growing up warps up and twists a person’s beliefs and opinions. I believe in positivity and hope and courage. I know that these things exist in humans, but I do also think there is something more.”

“And… ” Kurt urged him to continue. Blaine’s answer to this certain question had suddenly become the most important thing in the universe.

“Growing up my grandma always used to tell me this story. It’s sort of a long one,” Blaine warned.

“Tell me.”

“So it starts with these two men, both with white cloths draped over themselves, who went and knocked at this rich man’s house.

The owner opened the door, and they asked for food and shelter for the night. And the rich guy looked them over, and assumed just because they were clean and well-dressed they didn’t actually need it, so he refused them.

They did the same at another house, and the woman refused them saying that she didn’t have enough to give to them. Finally, they got to this little shack at the end of the road, and this old lady let them in. She gave them food and water and extra clothes and a room to sleep in while she slept on the floor.

The next morning the two guys were gone but they left her loads of stuff in gratitude; such as money and food and other things that she probably needed. Anyways, turns out those two men were actually angels.”

Kurt mostly started at Blaine, amazed that this was the type of reputation his kind had amongst humans.

“I know, it’s silly,” Blaine said, smiling. “But that story that stuck with me for the longest time, because I actually started thinking angels did things like that. And I took it to heart because I started treating every other person like they were from heaven because I thought: what if they were? I was so determined to meet one. And then when I had a little sense knocked into me I understood the moral. But I guess what my grandma meant to do was to raise me to not be a jerk to people. And I try to apply that every day.”

At that moment Kurt felt the irresistible desire to do something, but he didn’t exactly know what. He was very sure he had never met an angel with such a pure heart as this man. Someone who had the capability of cynicism yet did not allow that to taint a childhood lesson that he’d learned so long ago.

“You are an exceptional human being.” Kurt finally said. “I hope you know that.”

Blaine was quiet for a while, simply staring at Kurt in what he could only describe as reverence. As if what Kurt had said to him made everything alright in Blaine’s world.

Kurt waited for him to say something in response but without a second’s delay, Blaine’s face was right in front of his own. It was so close that they were most likely touching.

No, no they were kissing. Blaine was kissing him.

Kurt wanted more than anything to know what that felt like. He didn’t even know if he was reacting properly to the kiss.

“I’m sorry. You just— I hope that was okay?” Blaine asked nervously, once they parted.

“You don’t ever need to apologize for that,” Kurt said, hoping Blaine didn’t notice Kurt obvious lack of participation in that kiss.

“You wanted that, right?”

He  _had_  noticed.

“Yes. Yes. More than anything. You just caught me off guard, that’s all,” Kurt said, hoping that would work as an excuse.

It did. Blaine smiled and said, “Oh. Good. Next time I’ll give you a heads up before I do something out of the blue like that.”

“Next time.” Kurt grinned sheepishly. He knew that even though he couldn’t tell what that kiss felt like, at least Blaine could. And if Blaine was happy, that’s all that really mattered.

They stayed laying there for what could have been hours or a few minutes, Kurt would never be sure, but it didn’t matter.

* * *

When he and Blaine parted ways, Kurt didn’t want to go anywhere where Blaine wasn’t. So he wistfully chased after him, out of sight, hearing Blaine humming a tune to a song he didn’t recognize.

Blaine certainly seemed to like it, because he softly sang it under his breath his entire walk home. But humming wasn’t enough for him apparently.

As soon as Blaine unlocked his door he fully allowed himself to sing it with unrestrained passion and Kurt was certain there was he had never been fonder of anything else in the entire universe. He spun around by himself, but if the words of the song meant anything, Kurt was certain Blaine did not want to be alone.

_Heaven, I’m in Heaven,_

_And my heart beats so that I can hardly speak;_

_And I seem to find the happiness I seek_

_When we’re out together dancing, cheek to cheek._

_Heaven, I’m in Heaven,_

_And the cares that hang around me thro’ the week_

_Seem to vanish like a gambler’s lucky streak_

_When we’re out together dancing, cheek to cheek._

_Dance with me_

_I want my arm about you;_

_The charm about you_

_Will carry me thro’ to Heaven_

_I’m in Heaven,_

_and my heart beats so that I can hardly speak;_

_And I seem to find the happiness I seek_

_When we’re out together dancing cheek to cheek._

Kurt wanted to laugh at the irony.

Oh, how he wished he could do that. Dance cheek to cheek with Blaine. He took a seat, watching Blaine prance around in his apartment all by himself, trying to ignore the urge to just sweep Blaine by his feet and join him in his carefree dance.

 

 


	11. Chapter 11

“How was work?” Blaine asked, setting down his spoon in his cup of ice cream.

Kurt had missed what Blaine asked him, as he was a little preoccupied. A little drop of the melted dessert was on the corner of Blaine’s mouth, and it was really distracting him.

“Kurt?”

“I’m sorry, what was the question again?”

“Work? How is it?”

“Oh.” Kurt wasn’t sure how to answer that. The days seemed to be passing by so quickly now, in comparison to when he was busy doing his job.

Being around Blaine was a time-consuming task that he had eagerly accepted for himself to get lost within. And he knew it wasn’t right to do so. “If I’m being honest, I’ve been distracted for a while.”

“I’d be lying if I said I felt guilty about that,” Blaine said, giving him a wink and inciting a laugh.

Kurt found himself doing that often around Blaine. Laughing, smiling or even giggling.

Just being  _happy_.

He didn’t even think it was possible for a living thing to be this joyful all the time. Was it even fair for him to be this happy?

Many would probably think that as an angel, he deserved something of the sort, but Kurt doubted that was the case. Angels did not waste their time frolicking with humans, laughing around, and getting distracted by something such as melted ice-cream on gorgeous skin.

“Would you like to come over to my place for dinner?” Blaine asked out of nowhere. “I’m getting settled in now, and actually have a table and some half-decent dish sets I’d love to put to use.”

“Really?”

“Of course. Just don’t expect too much out of dinner. Plus, after the likely scenario in which I burn our food, we could always order some pizza or something. What I’m getting at is that I would really like you to come over,” Blaine said in one breath. And then he realized the alternative response, “Unless you don’t want to, which is perfectly fine as well. I could just…”

“Blaine, I’d love to come to dinner. I’ve actually wanted this for a while,” Kurt said innocently, not even realizing that Blaine might have taken it any other way.

_He did._

“Blaine!” Kurt exclaimed. “Are you alright? You’re turning a little red. Was it something you ate?”

“I… I’m fine, really.” He was smiling, almost as if he was trying to control it, but that didn’t seem to be working.

“Good, then. I wouldn’t want you feeling unwell for our dinner meeting, whenever that is,” Kurt said, winking. He was learning a lot from Blaine, and given by his bashful smiles and delighted looks, it seemed to be working quite well.

“Is tomorrow alright for you? Nathan and Scarlet are free the entire day, so it’ll give me some time to clean up before you come on over.”

“Sounds perfect. I’m looking forward to it, but if I remember correctly you need to be heading home soon?”

“Yeah, I promised to watch a very special lady for a few hours while her parents get some time to themselves outside of work. I also have to take this opportunity to make sure she appreciates one of my favorite films properly.”

“I don’t understand.”

“Alright, I confess,” Blaine said, ducking his chin. “I have an unhealthy obsession with  _The Little Mermaid,_ and if I’m going to be looking after a child, those are the consequences; such as watching it every other day. It’s a part of childhood.”

“You expect an infant to understand the depth and emotional resonances of a film? Even I have trouble doing that sometimes.”

Blaine gave him a confused look. “Hey,  _The Little Mermaid_ isn’t all  _that_  confusing. And she loves hearing me sing along to practically everything.”

“I’m sure she does,” Kurt said, recalling the time he heard Blaine belt out the soundtrack to that film one afternoon when Blaine was babysitting. “As do I.”

Of course, Kurt hadn’t been noticed, sitting right next to Blaine and Abby, thoroughly enjoying that the movie. He had liked this one. This film didn’t look anything like the human world, it was moving art, and it was beautiful.

He had never felt he related more to anyone or anything than he did with that mermaid. He too wanted to give up what he was, to know more, to feel more. To live. And he could easily put the blame on one man. Who happened to look a lot like Prince Eric.

The universe was full of allusive references, almost mocking his very existence.

“I think you’re probably the first person I’ve dated who doesn’t mind a man in his 20’s singing along to Disney soundtracks,” Blaine pointed out, as they left the ice-cream parlor.

“You do know I’m almost never listening to the songs. I don’t even know what song is playing most of the time.”

“Really?” Blaine asked, looking a little offended. Kurt tried to remedy it.

“I can only hear  _you_. And it’s like you’re in a whole other world, and you’re saying something, and you want people to understand you, and by putting it in song, it would be easier for you to say what you mean. But when you sing, I understand you completely.”

“I…” Blaine shook his head, leaning in for a kiss. “You just always leave me speechless, you know that? You say these things, and I never know how to reply.”

Kurt knew that he needed to stop saying such things since they often resulted in a kiss from Blaine.

Not that he minded, but there were some downsides.

Because every time Blaine kissed him, it reminded Kurt how he couldn’t feel it. It was heart-wrenching, knowing how he was lying to Blaine, pretending everything was perfectly normal. The dreadful feeling of yearning mixed with a hint of anger, at wanting to know what it was like to be kissed by Blaine.

It was just painful.

Before Blaine could try for another kiss, Kurt reluctantly pulled away and reminded Blaine that he couldn’t keep his infant employer waiting any longer. Blaine laughed, nodded, and walked away, but not before repeating that they were meeting for dinner the next night, and how Kurt shouldn’t forget.

Kurt replied that he never forgot anything that Blaine told him, which earned him a blush and Blaine doing an odd gesture of kissing his own hand extending it to Kurt.

Kurt was certain this implied a kiss from far away. And although he felt this one as much as he did an actual kiss, he felt the emotion that came with it. He could always feel that, and he was pretty sure what to call it too.


	12. Chapter 12

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Please don't get mad at me

As an angel, Kurt thought himself as an example for human beings.

He was supposed to be the symbol of purity, obedience and respectable behavior. He wasn’t supposed to do anything that would be frowned upon by basic morality. 

But ever since he’d met Blaine, he’d contradicted everything he ever knew about himself, or rather, everything he was told to be.

Kurt knew how the world worked. He wasn’t stupid. It was common courtesy to bring something to someone’s home to show them how much you cared. He’d learned that through simple observation. But he also knew many of these things came at monetary value.

A bouquet of flowers. That seemed a like a simple gesture. But how could he afford that with not a penny to his name? Kurt had no identity in this world. He had nothing.

Except for Blaine, who deserved everything.

This was the predicament he’d found himself in, trying to repress the urge to take from a man who was trying to make a living selling wrapped up flowers. He couldn’t do that. Not because he was an angel, but because even if he knew nothing about this earth, Kurt knew that the man he would give those to could never have even thought of something like that.

And that’s where the flitting came in handy. He rushed to his favorite gardens of the city, various parks, some beautiful restaurant displays, and well-tended backyards and decided to pluck a couple of stems from each place. Not enough to be missed, but enough to make a bunch to impress his host for the evening.

This was going to go well. Kurt could feel it.

He was soon at Blaine’s doorstep, knocking carefully, waiting for him to open the door. He knew Blaine was nearing the door because he could feel how fast his heart was racing. Blaine’s heart, not his own.

Since he was slightly uneducated on an angel’s anatomy, he didn’t even think he had a heart. At least not a beating one. But ever since meeting Blaine, he’d begun to doubt that theory.   
  
“Kurt!” Blaine said, a welcoming smile on his face.

“Good evening, Blaine. I… I got you some…” he fumbled, carefully handing the flowers to Blaine.

“You got me flowers?” he said, holding the flowers close to him and pulling Kurt inside with his free hand.

“Should I have not?” Kurt asked.

“No, no! I love them. But I’ve never actually received a bouquet myself.”

“Well I’m glad I corrected that injustice,” Kurt answered.

“Make yourself comfortable,” Blaine smiled, gesturing to the area around them. “I’ll just put these in some water.”

“It’s lovely, Blaine,” Kurt said. He’d seen many dwellings, of countless people, but he couldn’t help but believe how this house was so much better than all the others. Probably because of one certain man.

“I downloaded a recipe for some pasta, and it’s in the oven right now. It could end up being delicious  _or_  give us food poisoning,” Blaine laughed. “Either way, I’m hoping for a memorable evening.”

Kurt smiled in response, and Blaine looked at him as if he’d missed a joke. He probably had, but decided not to say anything that could make his situation even more awkward.

Blaine motioned for Kurt to follow him into the kitchen, trying to involve him in the cooking process. Kurt nodded along with everything Blaine was explaining, memorizing it all, hanging on to each and every word.

That was the only thing he could truly get from this experience. He couldn’t smell or taste what Blaine had made for the two of them, but Kurt could damn well try and imagine it from his words.

He took a seat next to Blaine on the couch, and Kurt reached for a nearby photo frame with a picture of Blaine and three strangers.

“Who are they?” Kurt asked.

Blaine pointed to each figure within the picture. “David, Wes, Thad and that’s me… obviously.”

“You look much younger there,” Kurt said, mirroring the grin Blaine sported in the picture.

“Well, yeah… It’s from my freshman year of high school. Not the greatest time of my life… ” Blaine shrugged, putting the photo frame back.

“Why?”

“Was anyone’s high school experience good?” Blaine said, “I mean, was yours great?”

Kurt didn’t know what he could have said to Blaine without piling on to his web of lies so he decided to sigh in response. That seemed to be explanation enough for Blaine, who shook his head and nod understandingly.

“I’d just come out to my parents,” Blaine explained. “They didn’t take it well, originally. And for the longest time they didn’t talk to me. I felt completely alone in my own house. Then I transferred schools, and you can’t tell but in that picture, I was trying to plot surviving four years of Dalton.”

“Who was Dalton/” Kurt asked, hoping to keep Blaine talking.

“Not  _who_ ,” Blaine laughed. “Dalton was the school I attended,”

“Oh. Sorry.”

“No, no, it’s fine. If I think back to it now it  _was_  sort of pretentious.”

“You’re far from that,” Kurt insisted.

“Really?” Blaine smiled, giving him a small kiss. Kurt never knew how to respond to them, but he’d picked up on certain actions and tried his best to reciprocate them.

One was wrapping his arms around Blaine’s waist, and that definitely seemed to work. Blaine continued kissing him, and Kurt didn’t know when the kiss started or ended because when he opened his eyes Blaine had parted from him.

But it must have gone well because he could hear Blaine thinking:  _‘Holy shit, holy shit, that was amazing. He’s amazing,”_

Blaine got up, suddenly remembering to get the food out of the oven and Kurt followed him without being asked.  

Kurt was so lost in that beautiful man’s thoughts that he almost didn’t notice that Blaine was unsuccessfully trying to reach the highest shelf in hopes of grabbing a bowl.

Kurt took pity on him, but also found it very endearing.

He could help Blaine even without his angelic powers.

He walked up right behind him and started to reach the bowl, but their fingers must have missed grabbing it and it fell right towards them. More accurately right on Kurt’s face. After it collided with his face it bounced and smashed into tiny bits, quite a distance from him.

“Oh my God!. Kurt? Kurt? Are you alright?” Blaine panicked.

Kurt remembered that he was supposed to be hurt. He was meant to be in pain, possibly cut and bleeding. Of course, he didn’t have a scratch on him. But Blaine didn’t need to know that.

Kurt quickly covered the meant-to-be injured area with a nearby washcloth and turned around to face his worried host.

“Blaine, I’m fine.”

“Oh god are you bleeding? This is all my fault, I’m so sorry,” Blaine cried as he moved nearer to Kurt.

Who backed away a step whenever Blaine got closer to him, and the truth.

“Just please stay away from me Blaine,” Kurt said forcibly.

Blaine froze in place and Kurt could immediately sense the pain those words had caused him. He didn’t need to be an angel to sense that he had hurt him, Blaine’s teary eyes and shocked expression were clear enough to interpret what he was feeling.

“Blaine. I’m sorry. I didn’t mean that….” Kurt backtracked, forgetting what he was supposed to be doing, and what had just happened. He removed the washcloth, letting his emotions take over, and displayed his perfectly unblemished forehead.

“Kurt?”

“Blaine, it’s not what you…”

“I…You’re…You’re not…Where’s the blood?”

“Blaine, just let me…”

“You’re supposed to be bleeding, or something. I saw that bowl… it hit you. I  _heard_  it…”

Kurt tried to calm Blaine, but Blaine only shuffled backward. In fear.

“What the hell is going on?” Blaine said, his voice trembling.

“Blaine. Please. Don’t… just listen to me.”

Blaine kept his distance, refusing to give into his thoughts and sentiments, which Kurt could openly hear and sense. Fear, confusion, heartache, devotion. All those emotions were swirling around in Blaine’s brain, probably causing him even more difficulty in how to face the current situation.

Kurt tried his luck again. “ _Please_. I can explain.”

Blaine’s silence gave him an opening to do so. There was no point in denying it anymore. He’d always wanted to tell Blaine- he didn’t think he could have gone on much longer. Ignoring his duties in favor of spending all his time with Blaine.

There were questions he was sure Blaine had, which he had no way of answering, except through the truth.

“ _Explain_? How can you explain the fact that you aren’t hurt at all?” Blaine asked in a rushed panic. “That you didn’t even flinch when that bowl hit you? And while you’re at it you can explain why the hell you don’t have a number. Or a home? Or why you’re always in a suit? I thought I could avoid talking about all that stuff because I liked you so much, but you’re right. You’ve got some serious issues that we—  _you_  need to talk about.”

Kurt felt like he’d set off a bomb. One simple mistake seemed to have caused every pent-up emotion in Blaine to come crumbling down in an avalanche, and just set him off. Kurt knew there was nobody to blame but himself.

“I don’t think what I have been doing is right.”

“What?”

“I’m not who you think I am, Blaine. I’m not exactly—a human.”

Blaine still refused to move from his position, but now carefully eyed Kurt with more fear than anger.

“Kurt. You’re a really w-weird guy, and, and that’s one of the things I f-found exciting about you. But p-please do not mess with me right now,” Blaine stuttered, his speech pattern implying his frazzled state of mind.

“I thought…” Kurt began, “No. I knew this would happen. And there was no way I could prepare for it. But I could not formulate any set of words that would help this make sense.”

He took a knife that was lying on the counter and directed it towards his palm to make a point. Blaine gasped and cried out in horror, moving to stop him, but Kurt’s point needed to be made, and it was. 

The knife appeared to dig through his skin but did not make a cut. Kurt didn’t wince, but only stared wistfully at Blaine, hoping he’d understand.

But Kurt could tell that he couldn’t. Human brains reacted well in some situations, and in others, they completely shut down. Blaine’s brain was acknowledging the present circumstance in the worst way possible.

_Complete and utter shock._

And then he started shivering. Fear mixed with adrenaline began to take control over Blaine’s nerves, and it all happened to fast, even for Kurt.

Blaine didn’t exactly say anything but Kurt knew what he needed. He got out of there as fast as he could, in the angelic sense. To Blaine, it must have looked like he vanished into thin air. Kurt wished he’d had the patience to handle that situation better, but there was no way to take back what had just happened.


	13. Chapter 13

Kurt found himself walking aimlessly through the streets of Los Angeles at an ungodly hour of the night.

Ever since he’d met Blaine it was as if he had lost a sense of purpose, but it inexplicably felt right. 

He had ignored his duties in favor of something, and someone, who made him feel as though he had more to offer to this world other than his angelic function.

But now Kurt felt truly lost. He had nobody to go to, nobody who could understand what he had just caused. The confusion, pain, and absolute turmoil he had brought to a precious person’s life, just because Kurt was what he was.

And he hated it. He hated himself, he hated the entity responsible for making the choice for him. To be an angel. Kurt almost expected his  _boss_  to smite him on the spot, but nothing happened.

Kurt supposed that somehow there was some cruel irony about it all. Developing feelings for someone he could never touch, love, court or spend a lifetime with. It was all a huge joke. And Kurt was supposed to accept it.

If an awful situation only involved himself, Kurt would have quietly brooded about it and eventually let it go. But he wasn’t the only one affected. Kurt knew that he could live another millennium yet never forget the terror in Blaine’s eyes, or the rapid train of thoughts that he heard going through his mind, or the way he backed away from Kurt’s reach.

He knew that this was not something either of them could walk away from. If he left Blaine alone right now, Blaine would be scarred for a long, long time. Kurt didn’t have the power to see into the future but he could clearly imagine how this would mess up Blaine’s trust and belief in others. What he had done to Blaine was not something he could leave and hope for the best. He had to do something.

Right now there was only one bring who could give Kurt sound advice. And he’d cast his own mentor out of life because of something senseless and humanistic as an ego. He hated to admit it but he  _missed_  E…

 _Ecanus,_ that was his name.

Ecanus had always looked out for him and cared for him as a son. But the way he had abandoned him after Kurt had professed his interest in Blaine left Kurt feeling betrayed and abandoned. He’d constantly waited for Ecanus to turn up one day out of the blue, with an apology, but that had yet to happen.

So Kurt gave up that path of thinking and directed his mind to something else.

Because he knew there was something he could do if he went on blind faith. If he went on the words of one woman who gave up everything she knew and was for the man she loved. And Kurt knew he could do the same because he could finally admit it to himself. He loved Blaine. Any thought to the contrary would be a lie, a lie he’d feel to his very core.

But before Kurt could do anything he needed to see Blaine again.

In the case that what he was planning to do didn’t work, or if it did and he’d have no memory to depend on. Or if he was forced to leave this earth and be pulled back into the heavenly home he had always known. A multitude of possibilities could occur from one action, he knew that better than anyone.

In the blink of an eye, he found himself in Blaine’s home. It was eerily dark and silent, and that made Kurt uneasy. He figured that wherever Blaine was present, there was light and life and happiness and music.

This seemed like an empty black hole which could absorb Blaine completely. He hoped that his house only seemed in such a way because Blaine was not at home, but that wasn’t the case. He was aware of his essence behind the closed bedroom door.

Kurt was right. Blaine lay asleep, clutching his pillow, occasionally shifting his position and frowning in his state of dormancy. Kurt slowly approached him, hoping to ease him of some of the worries Blaine had carried with him even to his dreams.

He noticed the pillow was damp. Blaine’s hair was not, so Kurt came to the conclusion that he’d been crying. Kurt carefully put his hand on Blaine’s shoulder with a feather-light touch so that he wouldn’t wake.

And that was all he could do as an angel. With a touch, Kurt could only hope to take away some of the pain. Whenever he’d done this before, he’d always give comfort to those who were hurt by others, or by themselves. Never had Kurt consoled someone whose cause of grief had been an angel, let alone be the one inflicting the pain.

 _“I’m going to make this right,_ ” he thought to himself, closing his eyes.

He had some things to take care of first.

* * *

It was difficult to describe exactly where Kurt was. Everyone mostly knew it by its most common name.

 _Heaven_.

It used to be ‘home’for a while as well. It wasn’t a physical place, more like a dimension. It had no constant elements within it, no definite appearance.

Angels couldn’t decide what their surroundings in paradise could look like. Humans could.

Many of the departed souls simply created what they could remember of their lives on Earth. Their favorite places, memorable experiences, Christmases, their weddings. They’d be in their own world, unaware of the angels present in their whimsical domain.

Kurt would often try and find a quiet place in an infinite stretch of land when he used to spend the majority of his time up here. And here he was again, some stranger’s utopia filled with lush green hills and daylight, the sort most people would think Heaven looked like.

He walked for a while, his head downcast. Even though he knew there was no point trying to explain what he was doing, he still thought he owed it to his maker. Kurt had been created for a purpose and was now defying it.

“I’m sorry,” he said out loud. “I know this isn’t what I’m supposed to do. Not what I was created for.”

No response.

There never was.

It was hard for Kurt to understand that there was an uncountable number of his kind, who had unwavering faith in a being that had never made his presence known. He was one of those. He still believed that someone or something was listening when he spoke to nothing in particular.

“You knew what was going to happen. You  _know_ what’s going to happen. Isn’t that your what you are?” Kurt yelled, hoping that could elicit a response. “All-knowing? All-powerful?”

Kurt kept trying. “But even though you know what’s going to happen, you’re not doing anything. You’re not stopping me.”

Perhaps there  _was_  no stopping him.

Kurt looked around and realized if what he did worked, he wouldn’t see this place for a while. His mentor hadn’t spoken a word to him for a long time, ever since their disagreement about Blaine.

 _Blaine_.

Kurt recalled the look of complete terror on his face and the sobs that he couldn’t stop from escaping.

That memory immediately took him to where he needed to be. His own personal heaven, the 777 building.

It was Kurt’s sanctuary for a very long time, a place he wanted to call his own. He’d sit on its rooftop and gave it credit for helping him come up with ideas and solutions.

But now his sanctuary was a person.

Kurt walked to the edge of the rooftop, the same place he’d sat upon countless times and looked down. The sun was rising, the city was starting to wake up, and it was going to be a new day. It applied similarly to Kurt, but on a much grander scale.

He looked up at the sky, trying to picture what was above them one last time. The home he never truly considered his own or one he belonged to. He gave a mental goodbye to all those he knew, the things and powers he was leaving behind.

_And then he jumped._


	14. Chapter 14

_Blaine._

He saw Blaine. But never like this. 

Whenever he thought of Blaine, Kurt would instantly find himself right next to him. But this was different, it was like a memory he was working hard to retrieve. He felt like panicking, not knowing what to do with that loss of ability.

But he gained a new one, to feel the presence of someone, yet not be around them physically. All this was occurring in Kurt’s mind as he was falling; descending a distance of seven-hundred feet.

And then it all went dark.

* * *

The next thing Kurt saw was blinding light, luminescent attacking his pupils. He fought against the involuntary urge to keep his eyes shut and slowly blinked once, twice, and then opened his eyes completely.

He saw bumpy cement, dirt, and a wayward beetle crawling his way. There was a warm, sticky substance connecting the side of his face to the ground. And air. He could feel it rushing through his nostrils up into his brain. He forced more air into his lungs, which expanded when he did so. He exhaled and felt a little more relaxed.

There was also an indescribable twinge he felt on the front of his skull. It must have been  _pain_. That meant that the sticky matter must have been blood. He was  _bleeding_. Kurt suddenly tried to get up, and it was not the best idea because he could barely lift his head.

“Hey, buddy? You okay?” a gruff voice asked, originating from his right.

Kurt faltered in his balance and someone must have caught him.

“I… I’m bleeding.”

“Yeah. You are. But it doesn’t look like anything’s broken. Did you jump from the first floor or something?”

Kurt tried to laugh at the man who had no idea what he was talking about, but his dizzied state only allowed him to form a grimace.

“I need to go… ”

“I’ve called up an ambulance but I think we’d get to the nearest hospital in my truck,” the man offered.

“No. No, I need to get to Blaine… ” Kurt trailed off, but his current attendant had a different plan.

“Sure buddy… first, we need to get your head checked. Just come with me.”

Kurt didn’t have much say in the matter, nor did he feel like he had the strength to argue. He felt like the earth was aggressively pulling him downwards, and he felt his abdomen trying to gnaw on his insides.

He put his trust in his pick-up truck owning savior and hoped for the best as he closed his eyes shut for the second time that morning.

This time when Kurt opened his eyes he was lying face up in a hospital bed. He’d stood at the end of many hospital beds, mostly those belonging to young faces. 

He remembered holding their small hands in his own when they were in immense pain. He also recalled walking away when Ecanus or someone else would come to take those hands away from him and lead them to ‘ _someplace better’_.

Kurt looked over his body for any signs that indicated if he was in a serious condition or not. It didn’t seem like it. No tubes sticking out of his arms. Just a searing ache in his head, but Kurt didn’t mind that at all. He enjoyed it because it was something, it was proof of what he’d done.

And now he needed to get out of here without being seen. In a human-being fashion. No more flitting, vanishing and appearing wherever he wished to. Kurt knew that he’d now have to put an effort to get from one place to another.

He got up carefully, making sure no other places of his body hurt as badly as his head. When Kurt leaned on his right hand to push himself up farther he felt a sting shoot up his arm. His palm had jagged cuts, which probably had gravel stuck inside. But the hospital attendants had done a good job of cleaning up any wounds he might have had.

He leaped a couple of inches off the floor as soon as he touched it with his bare feet. It wasn’t exactly pain, but it wasn’t something pleasant either. Shoes.

As Kurt walked a few steps he realized he’d need more than just a pair of shoes to walk out of the hospital comfortably. There was that same exact sensation he felt on his feet, but it was more… it had a bit more flow to it. That feeling was specifically around his backside, and due to a breeze, he felt from lack of cloth in that specific area.

So Kurt looked around and noticed the room was empty, not counting the man who seemed to be unconscious in the bed across the room. Next to the man was a chair with what seemed to be a cylindrical bag and a large shirt peeking out from the open zip.

Kurt took his chance, grabbing the bag belonging to that man and hoping he’d find something that would be of benefit to him. He started to apologize but stopped before realizing that wouldn’t help him in any way. He was desperate, and as a new addition to the human race, he had limited options.

Putting on the clothes was a little harder than Kurt expected. It looked simple enough, and he had the procedure all planned out in his head. But since he had never exactly put on clothes like a sweatshirt, or used a zipper and button, it was a good twenty minutes before Kurt was out of the connecting washroom inside the hospital room.

He had to remember that slipping past the hospital staff wasn’t going to be as easy as it used to be. People could see him now, all the time. And if he collided with something, it was going to hurt. So Kurt was extra careful, trying to look inconspicuous, walking out in the massive hallways, looking for an exit. He got the hang of it eventually, and apart from a few confused stares, he thought he did pretty well.

When the glass doors split apart, the first sensation he felt was the prickle on his skin. And then the light, he winced and looked away, afraid it would burn his now sensitive eyes. So the light was different indoors and outdoors, and that would affect humans. That’s what those crazy sunglasses were for.

He walked a few steps in no particular direction at all before he realized he didn’t know where he was headed. He needed some guidance, some help to tell him where he was. He knew where he needed to go, he just didn’t know how to get there. All that time following Blaine, he wasn’t exactly paying attention to his surroundings.

If he could only, find something or someone that would help him. And then out of the corner of his eye, he spotted it. That cafe where Blaine always played. Kurt looked up at the sky and simply smiled, hoping that would convey his thanks and went inside.

Kurt thought he had gone blind for a moment. It was incredibly dark, and Kurt couldn’t see anything around him. He stayed still until his vision adjusted to the room’s lighting or lack of it. Kurt scanned the room for any sign of Blaine, which was wishful thinking on his part. It was a small chance that he’d catch Blaine here, but that didn’t mean he couldn’t try and ask for some help.

“You look like you’ve had a rough day, can I help you?” a lady asked him, one he felt he remembered from somewhere.

“I’m looking for someone,” Kurt blurted out.

“Isn’t everyone?” she chuckled.

“I suppose so, but the person I’m looking for is special. He plays music here, sometimes. His name is Blaine.”

“Well, he ain’t playing today. Sorry, darling.”

“Do you know where he lives?”

“Nope. And even if I did, I doubt he’d appreciate me giving info like that to some guy.”

“But I’m not just someone,” Kurt said desperately. “I know him, and he knows me. We developed a… a relationship of sorts… and I need to see him.”

“You dated the guy and don’t know where he lives?” she questioned, eyeing him in a way that made him nervous.

“I  _do_  know, I just don’t know how to get there.”

“You hit your head or something?” she asked carefully, backing towards the table behind her.

“I did, and quite a few other parts of my body as well. But it was for a good cause, and it’s also the reason I need to meet with him.”

“Kid, I don’t know why I’m going to do this. And I swear if something happens to that boy, I am personally going to find you and hurt you real bad.”

“I would never hurt him. Not if it was in my control.”

The lady hummed in response and nodded, hiding her slight smile from the injured stranger.

“I’m going to check if he filled out his address in any of the temp job forms. You stay right here.”

“Thank you so much.”

“Yeah, yeah. Just don’t say a word of this to anybody. I could get fired for doing this shit.”

When Kurt was given the address, it only took him a few minutes… to find a person who bothered to direct him to the right place.

It wasn’t until an hour later he recognized some familiar settings, and then Blaine’s building.

Kurt had tried to remember the correct floor, but that wasn’t a problem because the apartment number correlated to what floor it was on. The elevator was a little frightening for him. He’d been in them before, obviously, but he’d never felt the lurch in his stomach when started moving upwards.

He held onto the railing nearest to him, afraid that if he did something wrong he’d somehow hurt himself. Pain was not something that he wanted to experience too often.

Kurt recognized Blaine’s door and the welcome mat that had musical notes over it. He went over to his door and realized that he couldn’t just enter as he pleased. So he knocked. And there was no answer. He tried again, only to end up with the same result.

“Blaine!” Kurt called out, hoping that Blaine would let him in. But to no avail.

After a few yells a door opened, but not Blaine’s. It was the one next door, and out stepped Blaine’s neighbor. Scarlet’s husband whose name had escaped Kurt.

“Can I help you?”

“I… ” Kurt found his throat feeling a little empty, craving some moisture so that it could help him speak properly.

“I’m looking for Blaine. Blaine Anderson. H-He lives here.”

He gestured to the door.

“And you are?”

“Kurt. I’m his… we’re… I just need to see him. I need to talk to him.”

“I don’t think that’s a good idea. Blaine seemed pretty shaken up this morning, and you’re not looking too good yourself,” Nathan said, narrowing his eyes.

“What happened to him?” Kurt demanded, taking a step towards Nathan.

Nathan was taken aback by his sudden change in demeanor but was quick to reply.

“I don’t think I need to tell—” he began angrily but stopped because of a hand on his shoulder and a voice behind him that said: “Kurt?”

“Scarlet,” Kurt said, relieved to see her.

“You know him?”

“Yes,” Scarlet confessed.

Nathan took a moment before he carefully said, “He says he knows Blaine.”

“He does.”

They seemed to have a silent conversation made up of glares and deliberate blinks. At that moment he consciously tried to listen in on their conversation, only to realize he couldn’t.

_Not anymore._

“I’ll explain later, I promise. Just give me some time to talk to him.” Scarlet said and led Kurt inside.


	15. Chapter 15

“ _Where is he_?” Kurt asked, or rather pleaded.

“You need to sit down,” she replied instead, leading him to the couch.

“Honey, would you mind checking up on Abby?” Scarlet asked her husband, who complied, understanding what she wanted and giving her the space she needed.

As soon as Nathan left the room, she moved a little closer to Kurt.

Noticing his cuts and slight bruising she whispered, “You jumped.”

She didn’t seem to be very surprised.

“Yes.”

Scarlet took a deep breath and gave him a sympathetic smile.

“Kurt, these past couple of weeks, they have been really tough on Blaine. When he said that you left all of a sudden, I had a hunch that that was what you were going to do.”

“Weeks? It hasn’t been weeks, I talked to him last night.  _He found out last night._ ”

“No, Kurt. He hasn’t seen you for at least ten days. At least that’s what he told me when I last spoke to him.”

“That can’t be true.”

“Blaine wasn’t lying Kurt, he couldn’t have. _The state he was in_ …” she finished off, shaking her head. Then she looked directly at him, and whispered cautiously, “Did you go, um,  _up there_?”

“How would you know that?”

“Oh Kurt…it may have seemed like a day to you, but time works differently here on Earth. For us, and for Blaine. It’s like you just got up and left, without a trace. He hasn’t heard from you in almost two weeks, so what was he supposed to think?”

“I—I didn’t mean to do that.”

“I know. It’ll be okay. Just find him and talk to him. Goodness knows that boy needs to get out of his own head, but he’ll understand.”

Kurt gave her a confused head tilt, prompting her to clarify what she meant by that.

“I’m so sorry, Kurt. I know it wasn’t my place, but he looked so broken. So I told him.”

“Everything?” Kurt gasped.

“Well, obviously not  _everything._  He needed to know some details if he had any hope of understanding what you were doing.”

“What did you say to him?”

“I told him, what you are—were. What we were.” Scarlet said quietly. “At first he didn’t want to listen. I don’t think he’d quite fully absorbed everything that’s happened to him. But Kurt, you should know something. The only thing Blaine was truly afraid of was you never coming back. He thought you were gone for good.”

“I wasn’t.”

“Blaine didn’t know that. He still doesn’t know that.”

“Please tell me where he is,” Kurt begged, realizing he was wasting even more time now. He couldn’t do this to Blaine anymore.

“I don’t know. After he and I had our talk, he’d calmed down considerably. But then he said he needed to think, and just left. Nathan was angry at me that I let him leave just like that, but I didn’t think I could have said anything to stop him.”

As soon as she spoke that last sentence, Kurt knew where he needed to be right at that moment. He got up without a moment’s hesitation and headed for the door.

“I know where he is,” Kurt said firmly. “But I don’t know how to get there.”

“Where?” Nathan asked, appearing from the hallway, holding his daughter in his arms.

The baby looked at Kurt and gave him a smile of recognition, gurgling in his direction. He smiled back instinctively but realized that action could make Nathan more agitated than he already was. Not the best idea.

Kurt described the park where he’d first seen Blaine. The park’s name escaped him, but those surroundings could never leave his memory. He described it as best he could, thinking back to the first day he’d seen Blaine there.

“Oh! I know that one!” Scarlet exclaimed, turning to her husband. “Do you remember we took Abby there once, but all the slides were too big for her or something?”

“No?” He asked in confusion. He obviously couldn’t remember, but Scarlet could.

She offered to take Kurt, but then her husband intervened. Kurt didn’t need extrasensory perception to know what Nathan’s feelings were towards him.

“Just tell him where it is, I’m sure he’ll be able to find it himself.”

“Oh don’t be so stubborn,” Scarlet said, and quieter, “He’s trying to make things right with Blaine.”

“It’s okay,” Kurt piped up, hoping not to be the cause of any disagreements between the couple. “Please just give me a basic idea of where I need to go, I’ll find a way.”

Nathan seemed to like that idea much better, and Scarlet complied to both her husband and the former angel’s request.

When the directions became clear in his mind, Kurt could compare it to how he could visually imagine a place and appear there. This process was similar to that, it just required a little more mental effort.

Kurt left the apartment with a few apologies mixed with a lot more thank-yous than necessary. He then waited for the elevator to come and receive him.

When he left, Nathan brought up a thought that had been bugging him for a while.

“So, how  _do_  you know him?”

“Oh, we worked for the same company.”

“Really?” he asked with a disbelieving stare. “Small world, huh?”

“Yeah, it is… ”

“Is he a decent guy? I know it sounds weird, but Blaine’s a good guy- he doesn’t deserve to be treated like that.”

“If you trust me, you can trust him,” Scarlet said, taking Abby from his arms and ending the conversation there.

The city seemed even more terrifying than before he’d entered the building. Like the building had been a quiet vacuum, safe from the sights, smells, and sounds of the world outside.

It was louder. He couldn’t hear anyone’s thoughts, but he didn’t think he needed to. As an angel, he’d limited his center of attention to his assignment or job, and later on,  _Blaine_. But now everything came into his visual perception. He headed down the sidewalk, looking around and comparing the sights to the images present in his mind.

Kurt panicked when an unseen force gripped his shirt and pulled him back.

“Hey! You okay man?” a rather skinny teenager said worriedly. Kurt realized the boy had saved him from walking into speeding traffic.

“I’m sorry. Thank you,” Kurt replied, looking a little disoriented.

“Don’t mention it,” the kid said, taking in Kurt’s state. He paused before adding sympathetically, “Um sir? I know it’s not my place, but I promise- it’s gonna be okay.”

Kurt hoped whichever angel’s assignment this boy could have been, they were proud.

This time he crossed the road at the right time, following at the speed of the crowd of pedestrians.

Soon enough, as promised, he came past the gates and familiar sites of the park and entered it. Scouring for the ledge where he and Blaine had shared their first kiss.

And there he saw Blaine. He was looking off into the distance, hair unkempt, eyes with dark circles beneath them as he remained seated, looking nothing like himself.

That was when Kurt noticed the world he’d been cast into could change drastically within a matter of seconds. What seemed sunny and loud this morning had immediately become bleak and void of happiness.

Kurt was overwhelmed with the thought of Blaine possessing this power. He could control the state of the earth just by his mood? Kurt settled on the idea that it was his responsibility to make Blaine smile again, for the good of this world.

He approached Blaine slowly, not wanting to overwhelm him, or elicit a frightened response.

“Blaine… ” Kurt said, almost inaudible but unable to contain himself any longer.

Blaine’s head turned instantaneously at the familiar sound, and Kurt could clearly tell what Blaine was feeling: he was shocked to his very core.

“Kurt?” he asked, as Kurt stood in front of him.

Kurt felt a slight difficulty breathing and understood that was most likely the result of him running to the park. Or perhaps this was how he was supposed to feel when he was around Blaine.  

Blaine got up, staring at Kurt.

“I…You look different. Your suit, it’s gone. And you’re… Were you  _bleeding_?” Blaine seemed to be hyperventilating, reacting by noticing the differences between the Kurt he was used to, and the man standing before him.

“I’m sorry,” Kurt said. “I’m sorry I lied to you. I’m sorry you had to suffer over something that I was responsible for. I never meant to hurt you in any way.”

“Kurt. Don’t… you don’t need to apologize for that. You didn’t have a choice there.”

“Yes. I—” Kurt began, wondering how he could begin to give a reason for all he’d done.

“Scarlet told me who…  _what_  you are,” Blaine winced, still in shock. “I mean what you  _were?_ … Is that offensive? To call you a ‘what’?”

“Blaine,” Kurt tried to comfort him. “It’s okay,”

“You jumped,” Blaine interrupted suddenly, a look of understanding dawning on his face as he took in Kurt injuries once more.

“I fell,” Kurt corrected, and then continued, “ _For you_. In every sense of the phrase; I fell for you.”

Blaine let out a breathless laugh, not in complete control of his emotions.

“Y-you’re human now… ” Blaine said demonstrating to Kurt how much he knew and hoping he was right only to have Kurt nod in confirmation.

“What’s it like?”

“It’s too much. I can feel everything that I knew existed but could never imagine experiencing.”

“You could never feel anything. Before…” Blaine said. “Nothing we did?”

“Never. At least not physically… ”

Blaine carefully reached out to Kurt’ hand, slowly taking it in his own and letting Kurt realize what was happening.

Kurt involuntarily grasped Blaine’s hand as soon as he felt it, scared that if Blaine pulled it away he’d never be able to feel it again.

“Can you feel that?”

Kurt nodded slowly, only half paying attention to what Blaine was saying. He was staring at where their hands were connected.

“Th-this is…”

“Nothing… I mean, it’s not  _nothing_ ,” Blaine said. “I know how new and scary this must feel which is why I don’t want you to freak out when I do this…”

It all happened too fast, too fast for his visual senses to catch. But none of that mattered, he could  _feel_ it this time.

And not just Blaine’s lips.

He felt the grip of Blaine’s hand on the back of his head. Breathing in deeply, he was able to take in a new scent, one that was comforting, safe…  _Blaine._  And when he tried grasping on to Blaine’s waist, he could feel the texture of his shirt, and the heat radiating from his body.

When Blaine began to pull away, Kurt felt himself clutching to him even tighter. He didn’t even fully think that action through, his arms and hands simply did that on their own accord.

 _‘Maybe this new body isn’t_ that _powerless…’_

“Good?” Blaine asked finally.

“I don’t think I’ve ever come across a word which could describe that experience.”

“In all your life?” Blaine asked, his expression giving a slight resemblance to the one he had that dreadful evening. “Wait… how old are you?”

“Are you sure you want to know?” Kurt asked worriedly.

“Um? Maybe?” Blaine asked himself more than Kurt. “But first… let’s go home.”


	16. Chapter 16

Blaine took Kurt back to his apartment, knowing they had a lot to discuss and that the park was not the place to do that. 

They reached the comfort of his home shortly after, not saying much, but either of them let go of each other’s hands during the walk.

Blaine managed to convince a somewhat reluctant Kurt to release his tight grasp for a moment while he unlocked the door to his home. He walked inside and Kurt followed closely behind, just as he had when he was an angel.

But this was so much better, this time Blaine knew what Kurt was, and wanted him there.

Following him to the living room, Blaine led him to his couch and sat next to him. Kurt could still feel the touch of his hand. The sensation wasn’t as strong as it was when his hand was physically present, but like a memory that was fading away, not fully gone.

“You do realize you’re wearing that shirt the wrong way?” Blaine said out of nowhere.

“I don’t understand. There are four openings, and my head is in the second largest one, this is how I’ve seen others wear such clothing.” Kurt replied, befuddled with what Blaine had brought up.

Blaine smiled fondly, shaking his head. “You’ve got all the right limbs in the right stuff, but you’re just wearing the shirt backward. Whose shirt is this anyway?”

“The man in the hospital bed across me. It was in a bag nearby, and my own clothing was nowhere in sight,” Kurt confessed, worried what Blaine would think of his actions.

“Hospital?”

“I was taken there, after the fall.”

“What was that like?”

“Falling?”

“Yeah. I—I need to hear you say it. To hear you talk about it, so I know that it’s real.”

Kurt nodded seriously and complied to Blaine’s request. “During the fall, I think that’s when I began to form some sense of pain, and fear. Before I hit the ground, I felt a thump in my chest, but from the inside. A heartbeat. I felt the air against my skin. When I woke up there was just… too much… too much of everything.”

“That must have been terrifying. I’m sorry,” Blaine apologized. “I’m sorry I wasn’t there.”

“You  _were_ ,” Kurt insisted. “And I should be the one who needs to apologize.”

“Kurt… ”

“You were hurt because of me. I promise you, I am never going to do that again.”

“Okay,” Blaine whispered, nodding as he tried to wrap his head around it all.

The silence broke with a gurgling sound. A sound that was emanating from Kurt’s body.

“What was that?” Kurt asked, looking at his own stomach worriedly.

“Oh. Oh!” Blaine realized. “You’re hungry. Oh my god. Have you eaten?”

“Food? No. I… I came looking for you as soon as… as I woke up.”

“Oh this is gonna be so cool,” Blaine said excitedly, bouncing off the couch towards the fridge.

“What are you doing?”

“What would you like? I mean, you won’t have a preference, not yet. But is there anything that  _looked_ appetizing?” Blaine asked excitedly, rummaging through the contents of his refrigerator.

“I… I don’t know. I don’t think I’ll even be able to tell what’s good.” Kurt thought for a moment and then tried, “Pizza?”

“Pizza?” Blaine asked, looking past the open fridge door.

“Yes. We had it once, and you seemed to enjoy it. I tried to copy your expressions at that time, but…”

“I remember,” Blaine smiled, walking back towards Kurt. “Um. Okay. Well, I’ll order some. In the meantime, how about something else? I have some juice.”

“A drink will help take the sound away?”

“For a while…” Blaine mused, taking a cold bottle from the fridge, and twisting the cap open.

Kurt accepted the drink, but kept it at bay, worried he’d do something wrong with the cold beverage.

“Oh!” Blaine said, realizing why Kurt was hesitant. “Here, just slowly put the bottle cap to your mouth and let a little in there and gulp.”

Kurt did as instructed, tipping the bottle lightly and felt,  _felt,_ a sensation on his tongue. And before he knew it, the juice was gone, leaving an aftertaste. And the worst part was he didn’t know how to describe any of it.

“So the first feeling was most likely cold, right? Or the taste?” Blaine said, after taking a gulp from another bottle. “Oh wait, how would you know… Like the opposite of warm, it was probably refreshing? Oh damn, this is hard…”

“No, don’t worry about it. I’m sure it’ll take time, but I’ll learn soon enough.” Kurt paused, to take a second sip. “Do all drinks taste like that?

“Well. Not really, but I happen to think this particular brand is delicious.”

“I could survive simply on this. Well, this and your kisses.”

Blaine blushed at the comment and said. “God… Kurt, there’s so much more. I feel like I’m not grasping this situation properly. And yes, kisses are incredible, but there’s so much  _more._ And I really want to show you everything. Share everything with you… ”

“I can’t wait.”


	17. Chapter 17

“Do you want to ask Scarlet for help?” Blaine suggested. “I don’t know where we’d even get started. Do we get you a license? You don't actually exist as a person- I mean, there’s no record of you,  _anywhere_.”

Kurt began shaking. 

He’d been doing that quite a bit since _‘the Fall’_  and couldn’t understand why. Blaine had opened up some of his unopened moving boxes and taken out every jacket he could find in hopes that it would help.

“I’m sure she wouldn’t mind helping, but is all of that necessary?”

“It would be. Eventually. I mean, this human deal is permanent, right?” Blaine inquired.

“Until I die,” Kurt said, overly casually.

“Oh… ” Blaine said quietly, sitting down as if to steady himself. “You- Are you okay with that? Did you know that before—”

“I knew what I was getting into, Blaine. Well- I did and I didn’t. I didn’t know what was going to happen when I jumped off that building. I didn’t know what I was doing when I first talked to you. But what I did know, is that I had to do what I had to do. And I’m perfectly fine with whatever happens now. I chose this. I  _got_  to choose this.”

“Okay.” Blaine’s voice wavered, seeming a little unconvinced.

That was another thing. He couldn’t  _hear_  Blaine anymore. Though he couldn’t hear his thoughts any longer he could still tell what was going on with him.

Kurt just  _knew_  what he was feeling most of the time. He believed it was the after-effects of the Fall, something that worked for everyone, something he would eventually lose.

That wasn’t true, however. He couldn’t tell how Scarlet was feeling. Or Nathan. Not even random strangers who he’d meet when he and Blaine went somewhere.

Nobody. Just Blaine. And that was more than enough for him.

“You haven’t been sleeping well, have you?” Blaine asked.

Kurt didn’t know how to answer that. He didn’t what it was like to feel awake or sleepy. There was probably some physical evidence that hinted at his lack of rest.

But how could he sleep?

He got to lay in bed next to what he was certain was the single most magnificent being to ever exist, and he was just supposed to spend hours just closing his eyes?

It seemed rather unappreciative.

“Is it something you need help with? I swear it won't be awkward like the peeing situation, and that was mostly my fault. I shouldn’t have been so weird about it.”

“No, no— we didn’t do a lot of work in bathrooms and such,” Kurt laughed, referring to his past ‘work’.

Blaine grinned, and then said, “Is it something I’m doing? Do I snore, or kick or something? I’m a huge blanket hog so I’ll get an extra one…”

Kurt then reached out grabbing Blaine’s hands in his own, noticing that regardless of his angelic ability, touching Blaine still seemed to have a calming effect on him somehow.

“I think it’s something I’m going to have to learn by myself. You really shouldn’t worry about it.”

“Okay. It’s just that you’ve got these dark circles under your eyes now, and I feel  _terrible_  about it. How have you not passed out yet?”

“Is that likely? Fainting?”

“Well, yes. If you don’t have the energy,” Blaine clarified.

“How badly would I need to sleep? How often?” Kurt asked.

“Every night is a solid plan. It’s worked for me, pretty much my entire life.”

Kurt suddenly panicked, and Blaine noticed.

“Are you scared? Of what might happen?”

“A little.”

“Well how about I make you a promise? Every time you fall asleep, I’ll wake you up with a kiss.”

“Every time?”

“Every single time,” Blaine promised.

“So should I sleep right now?”

“Well, looking at the state you’re in, I would recommend it, but then your schedule might be off.”

“Okay?”

“You know what? It’s okay… Just sleep. I think you might actually pass out if you’re up any longer.”

Kurt followed Blaine back into his bedroom and lay carefully on the bed as stood by his side.

“Are you going to sleep as well?” Kurt inquired.

“Um, I really have to get to work. I thought you could spend today talking to Scarlet, but I think it’s better if you get some rest and then we’ll meet her together at night?”

“Okay,” Kurt answered. “Wait. Don’t you have to look after Abby in the afternoons?”

“Yeah. I—I asked them for a break, after, uhm… ” Blaine trailed off, but Kurt didn’t seem to get where he was going. Blaine coughed and continued, “Anyways, we all thought it was better if I was focused on her.”

“Oh.”

“But I did like the night shifts better, and I miss that little princess, so maybe I’ll switch back… right after we see what sleep pattern of yours emerges.”

“Okay. So, I just go to bed?”

“Yup. Do you want me to tuck you in?” Blaine asked jokingly.

Which Kurt didn’t seem to get, since he asked, “Will that help?”

“Let’s see,” Blaine smiled, going along with it.

Blaine went back into his, or currently  _their,_ bedroomand began to draw the curtains as Kurt settled under the covers.

Blaine straightened out the folds in the comforter and blankets, asking if Kurt was comfortable.

“Okay, so just… Close your eyes.”

Kurt did so.

“Now, imagine something comforting, something that makes you relaxed or happy.”

“I’ll need to open my eyes to look at that,” Kurt responded, with his eyes still shut.

Blaine chuckled. “You’re getting smoother by the day.”

Kurt didn’t understand what was so  _smooth_ about the truth but understood that it was something that made Blaine laugh, even a little.

“Try counting sheep?”

“Sheep?” Kurt asked confused.

“Sheep. Imagine them jumping over a fence. They keep appearing, one by one, and you keep counting them.”

“Okay?” Kurt mumbled, “One, two, three, fo-“

“You don’t have to do it out loud,” Blaine laughed. “In your head will work out just as well.”

It took about a minute for Blaine to make sure that Kurt was fast asleep. His soft snores confirmed it.

He then slipped out, careful not to make a sound.


	18. Chapter 18

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This chapter is a bit of a filler. Mostly humor, but I decided to include it simply because the next chapters are anything but…

Blaine had run into a little bit of trouble.

He’d made the mistake of leaving Kurt with full access to the television while he was off at work. It wasn’t as though Kurt had done something too horrible, but within the week he’d watched  _22 Jump Street_ ,  _Pulp_   _Fiction_ , and  _Snakes on a Plane_.

Blaine had no problem with the films, he knew they were considered cult classics. The only side-effect was that Kurt attained a rather rampant penchant for the use of the words ‘fuck’ and ‘shit’. 

Blaine would have found it hilarious, but the first time Kurt had used it was when they bumped into Scarlet, Abby, and Nathan as they were exiting the elevator.

“How the fuck are you doing this fine evening?” Kurt said graciously.

Nathan looked as though his eyes were about to pop out of his head, and Scarlet held in hysterical tears while covering Abby’s ears. Blaine instinctively grabbed Kurt’s hand and pulled him into the elevator.

“I am so sorry about that,” Blaine said, as the doors closed and he stared at Kurt.

“What?” Kurt asked innocently, and Blaine wondered for a second if he’d imagined that entire encounter.

“Nothing, it was just um… why’d you swear?”

“Swear?”

“You do remember using the f-word right there in front of Abby, don’t you?”

“Yes?” Kurt said, his eyebrows furrowed, an involuntary act that Blaine found tough to ignore as it was incredibly adorable. “What’s the fucking problem?”

“Oh boy…” Blaine started, taking in a deep breath. “So before we begin, I have to ask- what have you been watching while I’m at work?”

* * *

They were seated outside a nearby coffee shop, as Blaine tried to explain to Kurt that he could, under no circumstances, ask his waiter to ‘please add two sugars in his  _fucking_ coffee’.

“But  _they_  all got to say it, Blaine.The ones on T.V.”

“I know,” Blaine said, trying to maintain his composure and explain it to Kurt without seeming patronizing. “But that was just for the sake of the movie. Sometimes people use it to try to be funnier.”

“I didn’t see the waiter laughing,” Kurt pointed out.

“Well, that’s because some people use those words when they are angry.”

“Oh! I should apologize to the waiter!” Kurt said, panicking a little.

Blaine smiled, glad that Kurt thought of that immediately.

“Okay, just wait till he comes back. And we’ll also give him a greater tip than usual,” Blaine offered.

“So, do you use them when you’re angry?” Kurt asked for clarification.

“Well, yes,” Blaine answered honestly. “If I hurt myself, and I make sure there are no kids around then… yes. Sometimes I blurt out a little swear word.”

“Okay. So I can only use them if I really want to make a joke, if I hurt myself and if there are no children around.”

“Yeah!” Blaine said, nodding. But then he thought of another place he could hear Kurt whispering those words,  _softly into his ear, under his breath…_

“Blaine?” Kurt said, snapping him out of his thoughts. “You’re getting all red,”

Blaine knew Kurt was right, he could feel his cheeks heating up, and even more so since Kurt had pointed it out loud.

“You only turn that red when we are kissing,” Kurt added on. “Is that why you’re red? Are you thinking of kissing me?”

Kurt must not have realized, but Blaine saw a light blush rise up his neck as well, and it gave him the courage to nod ever so slightly to affirm Kurt’s thoughts.

“Yes,” Blaine answered. “But only because sometimes it’s okay to swear while you’re kissing. Even when you’re doing more than kissing.”

“Is it necessary?” Kurt asked, genuinely intrigued.  

“No,” Blaine replied thoughtfully. “Nothing is necessary. All that’s important is that both people are comfortable and it feels right. So if you want to swear while you’re doing all that stuff, you can.”

“Okay.”

“Don’t worry too much about it, Kurt. It’ll come to you naturally, I promise. In fact, we can see what feels right as soon as we get back home.”


	19. Chapter 19

It had been one month since Kurt had jumped.

With new experiences, Kurt came to discover his own likes and dislikes, encounter unique people, trends, and food. He also got to try countless new adventures with Blaine. As Blaine had promised, kissing was not all there was, and Kurt didn’t believe he’d ever be tired of discovering the marvel that was Blaine Anderson.

But with new territories came differences as well, and that was something Kurt did not want recurrences of.

It had happened late at night while they were out for a drink with Scarlet and Nathan, at a casual bar. It was Kurt’s third time trying alcohol and Scarlet had assured him that he’d develop a taste for it in time. Kurt was sitting alone at a booth, while Scarlet and Nathan were ordering drinks and snacks.

Blaine had excused himself to use the restroom and when he came back he was acting notably different. Kurt realized he didn’t need to read Blaine’s mind to figure out that something was wrong

“Blaine? Is everything alright?”

“Y-Yeah…,” Blaine hesitated. “I… This guy came up to me and asked me for my number.”

“Oh! If he seemed nice then I guess it makes sense to give it right. Maybe it was for a job!”

“Oh, Kurt. No- he- wasn’t looking to ask me for that. He wanted me to…” Blaine trailed off, wondering how he could put this delicately. “He wanted me to _go out_ with him, and something even more…”

It finally dawned on Kurt what Blaine meant, and Kurt felt something he never had before. Well, it was similar to the time he’d gotten ill after eating too many tacos. His stomach lurched and he felt a bubble rise up in his chest.

Kurt wasn’t sure how to respond.

“Oh.”

“I said, no. _Obviously_ ,” Blaine said quickly.

The tension vanished almost as quickly as it had appeared, and Kurt felt thoroughly confused.

“So why were you upset?”

“Because then he asked me for _your_ number,” Blaine said, his voice a little clipped.

“Did you tell him no again?” Kurt asked.

Blaine shook his head, “I just walked away. I couldn’t answer that for you.”

“Why not?”

“Because...Kurt… I- I realized that it wasn’t fair of me to do so. What if you’re just with me because… because you are… ”

“That makes no sense,” Kurt replied. He could feel a sense of panic inside but didn’t know why. Every bit of this conversation felt wrong.

“You… What if you’re not meant to be with me? What if there’s someone better out there for you?”

“Why would you say that?” Kurt asked, only feeling pain but hearing the anger in his tone.

“I… I don’t know, Kurt,” Blaine said, his voice breaking. “But I feel like I’m robbing you of something. What if you deserve more? I mean- of course, you deserve more…”

Kurt could hear the unbridled panic in his tone and noticed Blaine’s hands were shaking. He tried to reach out to them, but Blaine had already begun to walk out of the bar.

“Where’s Blaine?” Nathan asked Kurt, settling himself into the booth.

“I’m sorry,” Kurt said, grabbing his raincoat, and Blaine’s too, which he had left. “I have to go.”

* * *

“ _Blaine_!” 

Kurt could make out his huddled figure, standing near a bus stop.

“I needed some time to think, Kurt."

“I know, but you also needed this,” Kurt said, handing him his raincoat. Blaine accepted it reluctantly, putting it on himself 

“I’m sorry,” Blaine said after a moment of silence. “I shouldn’t have just left like that.” 

“No,” Kurt agreed. “You shouldn’t have.” 

“But what if I’m right?” Blaine asked.

“You’re not,” Kurt responded instantaneously.

“You shouldn’t stay with me just because you think you have to.”

“I’m not,” Kurt insisted.

“What if there’s someone better for you?”

“There isn’t,” Kurt said firmly.

He was ready to continue this argument for as long as he needed to. He would not stand for Blaine thinking that way, never. There was never going to be anyone else for him, he knew that. Just like he knew he had to jump. It was an indisputable truth. 

“You’re not going to even entertain that thought?” Blaine asked. He seemed much calmer than he’d been a few minutes ago.

“No,” Kurt said gently. “Now let’s go home.” 

* * *

 They were lying bare-skinned, Blaine on Kurt’s chest, under a single sheet. They didn’t plan on their evening ending this way, but Kurt had discovered that sex usually made a number of things better.

Blaine had explained in very clear terms that it was not to be used as an alternative to actually communicating, and Kurt had vowed to not take advantage of that fact. But he also knew that the vulnerability they both felt afterward was the closest Kurt got to reading Blaine’s mind once again.

 “I guess I should have told you how insecure I can get before you got into a relationship with me,” Blaine laughed, but there was no humor in it.

 “You believe that would have changed anything?” Kurt said, kissing Blaine’s soft curls. “Blaine. Nothing- and I mean it, _nothing_ would ever make me stop loving you.”

 Blaine looked into Kurt’s eyes as if trying to channel some of his assurance into his own self.

 “ _Okay_ ,” Blaine whispered. “And Kurt…”

 “Yeah?”

 “I love you, too.”


	20. Chapter 20

“Blaine! Your pancake’s going to be burnt to a crisp!” Kurt shouted, walking into the kitchen.

“Pretty sure I turned the stove off!” Blaine called back from the shower.

Kurt double-checked to make sure Blaine was right, and thankfully he was. Blaine was always so careful, and Kurt had tried to adopt that same level of care into his life. While everyone just considered Kurt clumsy, Blaine knew it was difficult for him to adapt to this new lifestyle of hazards.

So he took the time to remind Kurt of all the dangers, not in a way that’d scare him, but enough to keep him aware and cautious.

Kurt took it upon himself to continue making Blaine’s breakfast. He’d been called to fill in for another musician, and although it was a day off for the both of them, Blaine insisted he’d be done in a matter of a few hours. Kurt had gotten a job at Scarlet’s workplace as part of their HR team. His co-workers were all wonderful, and they marvelled at Kurt’s ability to understand people so well.

“I’ll be back so we can continue our perfect day in bed, promise,” Blaine said, finishing his pancakes and giving Kurt a syrupy kiss.

“I love you,” Kurt called, as he left the apartment.

“Love you, too!”

 

* * *

 

Kurt should have trusted his gut the moment he felt something was wrong. He couldn’t shake it off. It started with a headache, and then a pang in his chest. He couldn’t explain it.

He called Blaine- the first thing he did, and it went to voicemail. The exact same thing happened the next six times he called. He texted his neighbors as well, and Nathan had assured him everything was fine.

And then he got the call from an unknown number and forgot what it felt like to breathe.

 

* * *

 

Blaine took the familiar route on his way to the bar, they usually didn’t open up this early but someone had booked it as an after wedding venue. Blaine shook his head, trying not to laugh.

He didn’t want to be too judgemental, but a bar? He’d have something far classier at his wedding. But then again, why would he care about an after party? He’d have his honeymoon to look forward to…

The next couple of minutes happened so fast that Blaine couldn’t consciously process them. All he knew was that he saw a boy of two let go of his mother’s hand and run into the street in front of him. And Blaine reacted instinctively, he miraculously managed to avoid all the other cars and reached the frozen toddler just in time to push him out of the way.

And then it all went black.

 

* * *

 

“ _Blaine_ ,” Kurt said, gently taking Blaine’s hand in his own. He tried his best to hold it carefully, to avoid the tubes and IV’s sticking out of it.

He was alive- that was all Kurt needed to hear. He was still with them. His heart was still beating.

But Blaine wasn’t awake. He hadn’t been awake for five days, and Kurt missed him. He’d slept by his side every day, with Scarlet and Nathan being the first of the visitors.

He’d also had the opportunity to meet Blaine’s parents under these unfortunate circumstances.

They were uncomfortably polite, but grateful that someone was looking after their son. Kurt couldn’t understand how someone as loving as Blaine had come from people like that, but didn’t say a word. He was there to be by Blaine’s side, and he wasn’t going anywhere.

Lying there in the hospital bed, Blaine looked nothing like himself. Most of his visible skin was covered in deep cuts and bruises, ones which Kurt wished he could take away. His left leg was in a cast, healing a broken femur that was just one of the after-effects of the accident.

At times, Kurt wished he’d open his eyes, just so it would bring him the relief that this was still Blaine.

Just a hint that he was still there.

 

* * *

 

Kurt woke up with a jolt. He immediately checked Blaine’s EKG and heart rate monitor. It was beeping steadily. Blaine was still with him.

_So what was wrong?_

Kurt could sense it. He looked around, feeling the hair on the back of his neck stand up.

“ _Ecanus_ ,” Kurt murmured under his breath. He almost jumped when his old friend appeared next to him.

“Kurt...”

Kurt felt his heart drop.

He would have been happy to see his old friend, but the current circumstances led his mind in a different direction.

“ _No_ ,” he said angrily.

“Kurt…”

“I won’t let you,” Kurt cried, tears forming in his eyes.

“I’m not here for him,” Ecanus said calmly. “Not yet.”

Kurt glared at him, standing his ground and over Blaine protectively.

“You can’t…” Kurt gulped. “You can’t take him away,”

“We both know there’d be nothing you could do about it,” Ecanus tried to explain.

“Is this _His_ way of punishing me?” Kurt spat out. “Is this the wrath that I should have expected?”

“Kurt-”

“He was saving a _child!_ ” Kurt said, trying not to break down. “H-he wasn’t supposed to be there.”

“I know, but this is what it is. This is what _living_ is,” Ecanus said, hoping to calm Kurt down.

When Kurt’s only response was a glare, Ecanus tried once again. “If you’d have known this would have happened to him, would you still have jumped?”

Kurt could feel his hands begin to shake involuntarily and realized it was pure anger and emotion coursing through his veins. He looked at his former friend right in the eyes and said: “I would have jumped off that building a million times just to know what it was like to spend a single second in Blaine’s arms.”

“He may not come back to you,” Ecanus warned. “You know that, don’t you?”

“If you’re going to take him…” Kurt tried to steady his voice and his nerves. “You’ll have to go through me, old friend. I won’t give him up that easily.”

“I was afraid you’d say that,” Ecanus sighed, before disappearing from Kurt’s sight.


	21. Chapter 21

Blaine awoke with a gasp. 

He squinted, momentarily blinded by the brightness surrounding him. Slowly, he blinked his eyes open again, trying to make out some discernible shapes. A lot of glowing white expanse was as far as he could see. 

He wasn’t anywhere recognizable and there wasn’t any other being in sight. Blaine tried his best to think about the last thing he remembered, but his mind was hazy. As if the memory of what had occurred moments before was  _ just _ within his reach, but he couldn’t quite get to it. 

_ Kurt. Where’s Kurt? _

That was Blaine’s next thought, and before he knew it he caught a moving figure from the corner of his eye. He tried to move toward it, but he was stuck in place. Luckily, the being came closer. 

Blaine somewhat recognized the uniform like clothing and his heart jumped. “Kurt?”

“Not quite,” a deep, resonant voice responded. 

“Where am I?” Blaine asked. 

“Well, that is not an easy question to answer.” 

The stranger was now close enough that Blaine could make out his features. He resembled Kurt in build, but looked far older than the man he loved. This person’s eyes were deep-set and upon looking at them Blaine knew, this…  _ being… _ was not human. 

“Then what  _ can _ you tell me?” Blaine ventured cautiously. 

“I can tell you, that you are no longer on Earth.”

Blaine felt his legs give out beneath him but was somehow still standing upright. 

“I… I died?” Blaine asked. 

“In so many words.”

“Is Kurt okay?” was Blaine’s next question. One which seemed to throw the being in front of him off-guard. 

He waited a few minutes before responding. “Yes.”

“Good,” Blaine said, trying to compose himself. 

“I would like to show you something, Blaine.” 

The white expanse began to shift in front of Blaine’s eyes. It transformed into a multitude of shapes. First, it appeared to be a warm log cabin, covered in what seemed to be fluffy clouds of snow. Blaine could smell hot chocolate, cookies and feel the fireplace beckoning him. 

Then within the blink of an eye, it changed. It was a theater, a stage, a crowd… Blaine knew that it was meant for him. He could almost hear the cheers of the crowd, could feel the thump of music calling to him. 

And then… it was a home. A modest, suburban house, with a large yard out front. And though Blaine couldn’t see what, or who, was inside… he  _ knew _ . 

This was his ultimate sanctuary. 

“What is this?” Blaine asked. 

“This is your heaven, Blaine. This is all for you.”

Blaine didn’t know how to respond. 

“But before you step into this world, there is something I am obliged to tell you,” The old man started. “As you and I both are aware: Kurt, or K as he was known, took the Angel’s Fall for you. However, something you may not have known is that a fallen angel is tied to the human they jump for. Kurt is  _ tied _ to you.”

Blaine instinctively tried to keep his breath and heart rate in check, but then realized that there wasn’t much point to that, being where he was. 

“Tied to me?” Blaine asked, unable to predict where this piece of information was leading. 

“If you choose, Kurt can join you up here.”

“What? What does that mean?”

“You have passed on, Blaine. But Kurt, if you say so, can also be here with you. You will be by each other’s side for eternity, having everything you could ever want at your disposal, as you saw.” The old man gestured to where a picturesque home stood, soft laughter echoing from within its walls. 

“No.” 

“I do not understand,” 

This was the second time Blaine had seemed to perplex this celestial stranger. 

“No. Kurt deserves to experience the world. He should get to do the things he never got to do. He deserves to know the feeling of the ocean and the taste of expensive wine.” Blaine could feel himself begin to choke up. “He deserves to carve pumpkins and make snow angels and travel the world. Even...even if it’s without me.”

“ _ Interesting _ .” 

That was the only word Blaine heard before he blacked out.    
  



	22. Chapter 22

Kurt couldn’t sleep a wink in the next four days. How could he? It had been five torturous days since he heard Blaine’s sweet voice and melodious laugh. Each day seemed more excruciatingly painful than the last, and Kurt didn’t think he could handle the pain much longer. 

Blaine’s parents visited every morning, at exactly eleven o'clock on the dot. 

Their questions were always precise and in a specific order, and they’d leave in the same manner as well. With Blaine’s mother planting a kiss on Blaine’s forehead and his father nodding in acknowledgment to Kurt before leading his wife out of the hospital room.

Scarlet, Nathan, and Abby were a breath of fresh air in comparison to them. 

Especially Abby. She’d been allowed to visit once the wounds on Blaine’s face had cleared up enough so that they wouldn’t have frightened her. But she didn’t seem to mind. 

She recognized Blaine, even with all the bruises and stitches, even though he wasn’t awake to sing her songs like he did. She sat on the bed, next to his good leg as Scarlet and Nathan comforted Kurt. 

Kurt waited until Nathan had gone to get them something to eat before finally breaking down in front of Scarlet. 

“I saw E,” Kurt murmured under his breath, the tears freely sliding down his cheeks now. 

“What?” Scarlet replied, clearly in shock. “Ecanus was here?” 

“Yes. A couple of days ago.”

“Was he here for...?” Scarlet stopped herself from finishing the sentence. 

“I don’t know,” Kurt confessed. “I yelled at him and he hasn’t been back since.”

Scarlet simply looked at Blaine’s small figure, almost impossible to make out beneath the large white sheets of the hospital bed. “He’ll make it through, Kurt.”

* * *

Scarlet’s prediction came true exactly three days later.

At first, Kurt thought he was imagining Blaine’s voice, in some distant dream that he’d tried his best to hold on to. But when he opened his eyes he saw Blaine’s mouth moving, and between a raspy groan, he heard his own name. 

“ _ Kurt… _ ”

“I’m here,” Kurt said, jolting awake and rushing to Blaine’s side. He grasped his hand and ran his fingers through Blaine’s hair. 

“You’re here. Blaine, you’re okay. You’re alive-” Kurt couldn’t control himself, the words just kept spilling out of his mouth 

And even though it seemed painful, Blaine did his best to give Kurt a smile. 

Kurt tried to regulate his breathing and tried to make out what Blaine was saying to him. When Kurt finally caught him glancing at the call button nearby, Kurt only confirmed what Blaine needed once. “Nurse?”

Blaine nodded, still holding onto Kurt’s hand. 

* * *

“I’m proud of you for pulling through, son,” Blaine’s father said, standing at the foot of the hospital bed. “The doctor told me quite a few times that it seemed unlikely.”

Blaine’s parents had arrived an hour after he woke up, with Kurt fulfilling his promise to contact them as soon as he could. Blaine seemed a little different around his parents, even in this state, he was making an effort to sit up straighter and talk considerably less than he had been doing since he woke up. 

Kurt was glad to figure out that this was a temporary reaction from Blaine vis-à-vis his parent’s presence, and not as an effect of the accident.  

“We’re here if you need anything,” Blaine’s mom said, dabbing fervently at Blaine’s temple even though there was nothing there. 

“Thanks, Mom, but I’ll be fine,” Blaine said, glancing at his boyfriend and squeezing his hand. “I’ve got Kurt.”

“Oh yes. Of course,” Blaine’s mother nodded, looking at her husband expectantly. Blaine’s father paused as if he was debating over what he wanted to say. 

“This young man has been exceptional. I didn’t once see him leave your side,” Peter Anderson said, inciting a wide-eyed look of shock from Blaine, who had not expected that from his father. “You got pretty lucky there.”

“Thanks, Dad,” Blaine said, smiling wide and relaxing slightly. “I know.”

* * *

 

Blaine was released the following day from the hospital, the doctors still unable to explain exactly what had happened for Blaine to wake up without any glaringly obvious damage.

Blaine was on a strict regimen of medications to help the rest of his body heal, as well as instructions for when to come back and take the cast off his leg. His physiotherapy would follow soon after, and they were hopeful his leg would make a full recovery as well. Physically, all Blaine would be permanently taking away from the ordeal would be a few scars. 

 

* * *

 

“Kurt…”

“Yes? Would you like me to get you something?” Kurt asked, having merely been pretending to read the book in his hands, waiting for Blaine to ask him for something. 

“I...this is going to sound really weird. And I don’t know how to explain it… ” Blaine started, nervously trailing off.

“What was it?” Kurt asked, already afraid he knew the answer. 

“There was another man. He looked much older… he was dressed the way you used to, you know...before you fell. And I could see you arguing with him.” 

“Yes,” Kurt replied quietly.

“Yes?” Blaine repeated, frowning in confusion. “It happened? I wasn’t imagining it?”

“E… Ecanus. He was a former friend.” 

“Okay,” Blaine nodded, trying to understand. “Was he there to help?”

“No. He was there for  _ you _ .”

It took Blaine a moment to understand the pain behind Kurt’s words. “Oh.”

Kurt tried to hold back his tears. He wondered how humans could cry so much; after the last couple of weeks he’d thought the tears in his body had run out, but there seemed to be no limit.

Blaine did his best to shuffle towards him and motion to Kurt to lay his head on his chest. Kurt obliged, nuzzling into Blaine’s soft t-shirt and reveling in the feeling of Blaine wrapping his arms around him. He almost lost this.

“I didn’t hear anything,” Blaine whispered, after giving Kurt a kiss beneath his ear. “I  _ couldn’t _ hear what you said. But Kurt, I saw the look on your face. And I think it's the only reason I’m here right now.”

Kurt didn’t know how to respond to that, mostly because he didn’t even know if it was true or not.

“I promise,” Blaine said in a voice thick with emotion, “I promise to fight for you in the same way. I don’t know if it would have the same effect, and I hope we never have to go through anything like that again. Because, I- I don’t know if I have the strength to face what you did. But if it ever comes to that, I want you to know… I’d have done the same for you, in a heartbeat.”

“I know, Blaine,” Kurt insisted. “I know.” 

“Would you have been okay if I hadn’t made it?” Blaine whispered, needing to know the answer.   
  
“I don’t know,” Kurt said, after a long pause. “Perhaps… I could have survived it, gone on existing… but I have existed for a very long time Blaine, yet I didn’t  _ live _ until I met you.”


	23. Chapter 23

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Here it is, the epilogue of this fic. I was so very nervous putting this fic out into the world, especially since it is my first ever Klaine fic. Thank you to everyone who read and supported it, and an extra special thank you to those who left kudos and comments. They made me want to keep writing.

It had been four years, three days and ten hours since Kurt had become human. Over the weekend Blaine had taken the liberty to present Kurt with a cake and four candles in celebration. Just like he had done the last three times. 

Blaine had then taken Kurt out to dinner, as was tradition. A new place every single time. 

This year it was a Moroccan establishment and their dinner had been quite a messy ordeal. Neither did anticipate the spiciness either, so they ended up paying more for their drinks than the actual meal itself. But every single penny was worth experiencing something new together. 

On their walk back home, Kurt had encountered something he’d never seen before. It was a crowd, marching in front of a town hall, with angry faces and large signs that showed various images. The people were shouting everything from obscenities (which Kurt now knew was only appropriate in certain contexts), but this time, there were children around these picketers. 

“Blaine? What do they want?”

“Nothing, Kurt,” Blaine seemed agitated. “Come on, let’s get out of here.”

“You’re going to hell!” came a yell from behind them. 

Kurt turned around. “What?” 

“You and that man will never be granted access to heaven if you continue your sinful ways,” the lady beside him said. 

Kurt seemed to forget all logic and instead shouted back. “Oh, I’ve been there! And let me tell you… Paradise is nothing compared to having this man,” he hooked his arm through Blaine’s, “putting his mouth on my-”

“O-ookay!” Blaine said, clapping his hands over Kurt’s mouth and pulling Kurt away just in time. But not before he could get a quip in as well: “We’ll just be on our way, have fun being ignorant!” 

* * *

“I have a surprise for you… ” Kurt said, knocking on the bedroom door. Blaine was sitting with his back propped up against the headboard, engrossed in a book,

“You do?” Blaine smiled curiously, watching as Kurt made his way toward the bed, his hands hidden behind his back. 

“Is it a puppy?”

“Better,” Kurt grinned. 

“Better than a puppy? Have you finished listening to the  _ entire  _ West Side Story album?”

“Not quite yet?” Kurt giggled. 

“Did you discover a new sex position, because you look  _ too _ happy,” Blaine said with a glint in his eye, the book completely forgotten. 

“Perhaps that may be in order tonight, but no… I got you this.”

Kurt handed Blaine a piece of paper. It had a website’s address on it. 

“What- ?” Blaine asked, unsure what to make of this gift. 

“The man said we could type it in, as we usually do on any computer, and then you’d see your surprise!” Kurt encouraged, pointing to Blaine’s laptop. 

“Okay…” Blaine said, a little worried about who had given Kurt this random address and he hoped to all the powers in the universe that it wasn’t one of those live cam porn sites that would hack his computer. 

Instead, a real estate website page loaded. On that, Blaine noticed a decently sized villa was advertised. A large on sale sign was on the reasonably sized yard and for a moment Blaine was completely speechless. 

“ _ Kurt _ ?”

“I obviously wanted to give you a pair of keys as a surprise, that’s what everyone does in T.V shows and movies. But I wanted this house to be yours.”

Blaine also noticed it was near the neighborhood that Scarlett and Nathan had moved to once they were pregnant with their second child. Blaine recalled having to explain to Kurt that as families grew so did their needs, and Kurt had nodded with a look of deep understanding. 

Blaine wondered what had gone through Kurt’s mind when he looked at this new place.

“Kurt…”

“And before you ask why, Blaine… it’s because you deserve the world. Also because I don’t have enough ‘ _ credit history to qualify for a mortgage _ ’,” Kurt said with air quotes, “but mostly because I love you.”

“ _ Kurt _ ,” Blaine said, yet again. 

“You said that,” Kurt laughed, the squinting of his eyes indicating just how happy he was. 

“I’ll never get tired of saying it… how can I?” Blaine said, with a blush rising on his cheeks. “You are the very definition of my happiness.    
  



End file.
